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27th Jul 2015

What Mission: Impossible jobs would we give Tom Cruise if the film was set in Ireland

He couldn't do them all

Paul Moore

He couldn’t do them all.

Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation is set to hit Irish cinemas very soon as Ethan Hunt must once again save the world.

It all sounds very impressive but we wonder if Tom Cruise’s most popular character would be as convincing, skilled and calm under pressure if he had to deal with some uniquely ‘Irish’ situations.

MI Slide

Hanging from planes, jumping off buildings and killing bad-guys might come naturally to him but I’d wager that he would struggle with some of these scenarios.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Hunt. Your missions, should you choose to accept them, involve perfecting the Irish art of…

Rogue Nation Plane

Conversation

Talk to any Irish parent without them starting the conversation by saying “D’ya know who’s dead.”

coffin

Linguistics

Your most difficult assignment yet, learn the modh coinníollach.

exams

Persuasion

Agent Hunt, you must get someone from Cork to admit that Dublin is the real capital. Good luck with that.

Roy-Keane

Patience 

Ethan, walk down Shop Street in Galway without wanting to hit a drummer or busker.

shopstreet

Memory

Did you remember to turn the immersion off Ethan? Don’t worry, you’ll hear about if from everyone in the building.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52bna-tn_dY

Honesty

Mr Hunt, it’s imperative that you do not steal money from the Trocaire box, especially during Lent. You’re going to be tempted by Refreshers, Stingers, Banshee Bones and other 10p items during your mission in Ireland.

Trocaire Box

Diplomacy

Can you clear out an Irish bar in a peaceful manner after the pub stops serving?

ladspints

Espionage

As a stranger, try and infiltrate the local pub without experiencing the awkward six second silence as every person turns to stare at you.

Colorful pub signs in Kenmare, County Kerry, Ireland

Repetition

You must hang-up the phone on an Irish person without saying ‘bye-bye-bye-bye-bye’ a thousand times.

Smile Cruise

Balance

Do not slip on the ice. I repeat do not slip on the ice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZvCK2o6Zbo

Driving

Your driving skills Agent Hunt will be severely tested in Dublin.

Navigate your way through the city, without getting caught by the guards for not having any tax, find a parking spot near Croke Park when there’s a GAA match being played and don’t get clamped.

clamped

Seduction

Your easiest assignment yet Agent Hunt. Charm your way past the bouncers in Copper Face Jacks. Once there, go and get the shift. That should come easily to you.

coppers

If all else fails….

Touch base with the man that’s running the IMF operation in Ireland. He’s the man that everyone looks to for an answer. His code-name is Agent Joe Duffy. Good luck Ethan Hunt.

Mission Impossible poster

Mission: Impossible- Rogue Nation is released in Irish cinemas on July 30th.

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