He couldn’t do them all.
Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation is set to hit Irish cinemas very soon as Ethan Hunt must once again save the world.
It all sounds very impressive but we wonder if Tom Cruise’s most popular character would be as convincing, skilled and calm under pressure if he had to deal with some uniquely ‘Irish’ situations.
Hanging from planes, jumping off buildings and killing bad-guys might come naturally to him but I’d wager that he would struggle with some of these scenarios.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Hunt. Your missions, should you choose to accept them, involve perfecting the Irish art of…
Conversation
Talk to any Irish parent without them starting the conversation by saying “D’ya know who’s dead.”
Linguistics
Your most difficult assignment yet, learn the modh coinníollach.
Persuasion
Agent Hunt, you must get someone from Cork to admit that Dublin is the real capital. Good luck with that.
Patience
Ethan, walk down Shop Street in Galway without wanting to hit a drummer or busker.
Memory
Did you remember to turn the immersion off Ethan? Don’t worry, you’ll hear about if from everyone in the building.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52bna-tn_dY
Honesty
Mr Hunt, it’s imperative that you do not steal money from the Trocaire box, especially during Lent. You’re going to be tempted by Refreshers, Stingers, Banshee Bones and other 10p items during your mission in Ireland.
Diplomacy
Can you clear out an Irish bar in a peaceful manner after the pub stops serving?
Espionage
As a stranger, try and infiltrate the local pub without experiencing the awkward six second silence as every person turns to stare at you.
Repetition
You must hang-up the phone on an Irish person without saying ‘bye-bye-bye-bye-bye’ a thousand times.
Balance
Do not slip on the ice. I repeat do not slip on the ice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZvCK2o6Zbo
Driving
Your driving skills Agent Hunt will be severely tested in Dublin.
Navigate your way through the city, without getting caught by the guards for not having any tax, find a parking spot near Croke Park when there’s a GAA match being played and don’t get clamped.
Seduction
Your easiest assignment yet Agent Hunt. Charm your way past the bouncers in Copper Face Jacks. Once there, go and get the shift. That should come easily to you.
If all else fails….
Touch base with the man that’s running the IMF operation in Ireland. He’s the man that everyone looks to for an answer. His code-name is Agent Joe Duffy. Good luck Ethan Hunt.
Mission: Impossible- Rogue Nation is released in Irish cinemas on July 30th.
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