5 things you may not know about Senator Ivor Callely 9 years ago

5 things you may not know about Senator Ivor Callely

By William Nestor

First there were the €81,000 expenses from his main residence in west Cork, despite still being on the electoral register at his home in Clontarf, Dublin. That resulted in Senator Ivor Callely being kicked out of the Seanad for 20 days without pay. Then came the dodgy phone expense claims on invoices for a company that no longer exists.

Now, after one heck of a lot of pushing, Senator Callely has finally resigned from Fianna Fail, saying he wants to spend his time on clearing his name.

To mark this event, JOE gives you five things may not already know (of which, as is our custom, one is completely fabricated...)

1. Ivor caused a €40,000 boat accident.

    In July of last year Ivor thought he had safely parked his yacht in Baltimore harbour, Cork. However, his beloved Serendipity II bolted backwards and caused major damage to the yacht alongside.

    Callely fled the scene and sailed off to nearby Sherkin Island but Gardai eventually found the politician and Callely owned up to the incident. He later reported the accident to insurers.

    2. Ivor has a vision for Ireland’s finances.

    Ivor feels he has the solution to Ireland’s financial woes. This is a guy who would probably run for the jacks when it comes to his round in the pub yet he thinks he has the answers.

    “I am determined with 'every beat of my heart' to resolve the difficulties this country now faces. Our ability to come together in difficult times has never been more important. Working together, we can help each other climb out of these difficulties.  We all have a share in each other’s success because the more each individual succeeds, the more we all succeed,” reads Callely’s vision statement on his official website.

    3. Ivor was seen drinking champagne at the Ploughing Championships last year.*

    Mixing business with pleasure is a given for politicians. Ivor availed of the free champagne on offer in a hospitality tent at the National Ploughing Championships in Athy last year and drank until 2.00am. One witness claimed that he bragged about his journeys around Ireland in a limousine.

    4. Ivor likes to wear kimonos.

    Gardai were greeted by Ivor Callely wrapped in only a towel when they found him holed up on his yacht after the boating accident last year. An Irish Mail on Sunday insider told of the events: “And do you know, next thing, the door rattles - and who arrives up but the bould Ivor himself with not a stitch on. Only just a little towel, wrapped around his bum, you know.

    "He was quite bullish. He said, 'What's this about? What's this about?' The garda was cute enough - a young sergeant - and he said to him, 'Go back down now and dress more appropriately and come here and I'll talk to you then.'"

    Callely then arrived back up wearing a kimono and a pair of sandals.

    5. Ivor plans to continue his career in politics.

    Mr Callely still feels he can run for a Dail seat in Dublin North Central and win. His inspiration?

    “I'm also conscious of Richard Nixon's few words after his debate with John F Kennedy and where he ended up a few years later (as US president). And we all know a week's a long time in politics. I appreciate you don't necessarily want me to nail my colours to the mast on that one.”

    *Fact 3 is invented. However, limousine rides for Mr Callely are thought to be a regular occurrence.