You silly, silly man…
A lot of planning goes into executing the perfect bank robbery; picking your threatening weapon of choice, ensuring you’ve got a flawless escape plan and, perhaps most importantly, making sure that your identity remains secret throughout the audacious ordeal.
Unfortunately for Felipe Cruz, a wannabe bank robber in Florida, he foolishly forgot that third and final crucial detail as he attempted to rob the Chase Bank in Pompana Beach (a bank which is currently giving porn stars the shaft).
According to a super story in The Independent, Mr Cruz strolled up to the completely-protected-behind-bulletproof-glass cashier and handed them a hand-written note that said “Give me the 100s 50s 20s now. Do not set the alarm. Hurry!!!”
Unfortunately for the aspiring perp, the protection of the glass meant that the cashier was able to calmly deny his demand, leaving Mr Cruz panicked and empty-handed.
Even more unfortunatelyererer for our hapless anti-hero, the piece of paper on which he had written his demand for dollar-dollar-bills, just happened to be an online job application form, complete with his password and his personal username, “CRUZFELIPE36″… as well as being entirely covered in his fingerprints.
Oh deary, deary me. Gloves are so overrated, right Felipe?
We’ll leave the final word with Michael Leverock, the FBI agent tasked to the classic comedy case, who issued a wonderfully wry statement on the botched burglary: “By trying to rob a bank with a demand note written on the back of his employment search form, the robber has given us a clue.
“He probably should have continued looking for honest work.”
We couldn’t have put it better ourselves Agent Leverock, we couldn’t have put it better ourselves.
Pic via The Independent.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
