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21st Mar 2014

Eight Irish people we wish were on Twitter

Twitter is eight years old today. Should be making its communion soon so...

Eric Lalor

Twitter is eight years old today. Should be making its communion soon so…

It seems everyone is on Twitter. Well, almost everyone…

The social media site has made contact with our heroes so much easier; so much so that we can study them and see what makes them tick, what they eat for dinner, their opinion on the weather and which team they support. There are, however, some glaring Irish omissions.

JOE reckons that Twitter would be so much better if these eight Irish people were using it :

Roy Keane

Ireland Training Session

Love him or loathe him, there is no doubt that everyone has an opinion on Mayfield’s finest. Probably the greatest ever player to don the green jersey, the captain and driving force of a Manchester United team that swept all before them, and one of Irish sport’s most divisive figures.

Now the assistant to Martin O’Neill in the national team set-up, it would be fascinating to read what Keane would have to say in less than 140 characters. He is box office after all. He’s become one of the best football pundits on the television and his no nonsense approach is a welcome respite from the cliché driven punditry we are fed by most. Who wouldn’t want to know what Roy has for breakfast or indeed, what makes him laugh?

Hashtag most likely to be used: #theresnoneedforthis

Bono

Like Keane, Paul Hewson is another divisive figure amongst the Irish.

The lead singer of U2, one of the most successful rock bands of all time, he has often annoyed people with his pontificating about social and political issues. He’s regularly pilloried for his stance on third world debt. The people who oppose him cite his alleged non-payment of tax here in Ireland as a reason to discredit him. Regardless of the tax issue, there is no doubt that he has done more good than bad for the third world debt.

He would be fascinating to have on Twitter. Loads of selfies with the heads of state around the world. His tweets would be tough enough to decipher though, given his propensity for out there lyrics in his songs. We don’t think B0no would simply tweet ‘Crap night’s sleep, me eyes are hanging out of me bleedin’ head.’ He would probably tweet something far more cryptic, such as ‘Insomnia enveloped me in the twilight hours and now the windows to my soul are fleeing my weary brain holder.’

Hashtag most likely to be used: #wherethetweetshavenoname

Twink

twink

Twink should be on Twitter. Her name is perfect as a handle after all.

She has been one of Ireland’s foremost entertainers for over 40 years now and has earned the accolade of being Ireland’s panto queen. She has garnered a reputation within the entertainment business of being a tough person to deal with. There have been stories of her falling out with other stars and had a very well publicised spat with Linda Martin. Her personal life was in the news too as she split from her husband and made an infamous telephone call to him where she implored him to ‘Zip up your mickey’.The call was recorded and put on to the internet where it went viral.

It would be intriguing to see what Adele King has to say for herself on Twitter. Hashtag most likely to be used: #donttakethatcrapfromherBilly

Bertie Ahern

The former Taoiseach or the Teflon Taoiseach as he was known, would be great to have on Twitter although with the inevitable troll attacks, we’re not sure how long he’d last.

Hugely popular at one point in his career, he has now become synonymous with our disdain for the administration in charge when our country collapsed economically. It irritates people that he is still making a living doing after-dinner speeches when a lot of the country are out of work due to his and his government’s ineptitude.

He’d probably tweet lots of pics from Old Trafford and Croke Park as he is a keen Manchester United and Dublin GAA supporter.

Hashtag most likely to be used: #wheresmeanorak

Davy Fitzgerald

Davy Fitzgerald 18/8/2013

The legendary former Clare hurling goalkeeper and now All-Ireland winning manager is a hugely interesting individual. He would be amazing on Twitter.

His no nonsense approach would be a welcome addition to the social media site. His post-match interviews are the stuff of legend and it would be fascinating to read his thoughts on a regular basis. A hugely passionate man who has his own ideas about sport and life and we reckon would be a match for any troll who dared to take him on.

The man from Sixmilebridge is one of the biggest personalities in Irish sport and his presence on Twitter would undoubtedly make the world a better place.

Hashtag most likely to be used: #isaidonrailnotunreal

Shane MacGowan

The legendary front man from The Pogues is one of humanity’s greatest survivors. Lesser individuals would be dead by now, but not Shane.

The Pogues lead singer is as famous for his drinking exploits as he is for his music. There is even a story of Sinead O’Connor reporting him to the police in an effort to get him to kick his heroin habit. Initially MacGowan was furious with O’Connor, but has since thanked her for helping him kick his drug habit.

A lyricist to compete with the very best of them and his crowning glory was the legendary Christmas song, Fairytale of New York.

Hashtag most likely to be used: #whoknewroyaltieswouldkeeponpaying

Enya

2007 Sony/BMG GRAMMY After Party - Arrivals

Enya is one of the world’s most successful recording artists. She has sold millions of records yet we don’t know much about her.

Widely viewed as being a bit of a recluse she shuns the media spotlight, but it would be great to read and learn about the Donegal woman. She owns a castle in Killiney so has to be a neighbour of Bono. Who wouldn’t want to read tweets like ‘Put the bins out in time. Bono running after the bin lorry in his Batman pyjamas, LOL’

Hashtag most likely to be used: #sailawaynotsaleofwork

Joe Schmidt

Okay, he’s not Irish, but he’s manager to the Irish rugby team, the newly crowned Six Nations Champions. The man from New Zealand has been adopted into the country as one of our own.

A highly-gifted coach, he has known nothing other than success in his tenure as Leinster coach and now as head coach for the Irish national team. The affable Kiwi would present a fascinating insight into one of world rugby’s most innovative minds. Highly regarded within the game by coaches and players alike, the New Zealander would be great to follow.

Hashtag most likely to be used: #whatdoyoumeanyouareretiring

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