We 100% guarantee that you will see all of these today…
I remember getting my Leaving Cert results just like it was yesterday. The nerves when you wake up, the tasteless breakfast, mindless chat with your mates and finally having that envelope placed in your hand.
With this in mind, I’ve decided to take a look at some of the people that you’ll most certainly bump into on Leaving Cert results day.
1) The show-offs
These are the people that you always hated in school but you kept this to yourself.
Leaving Cert results day will confirm your suspicions that this person is in fact a tit because they instantly feel the need to shout our their results at the top of their voice. Their face will probably be incredibly smug but just remember to rise above it.
2) The lads that are too cool for school
They probably had no idea that today was Leaving Cert results day because they spent every second since their last exam trying to forget what they’ve learned over the last 5 years.
These ‘cooler-than-a-penguin-wearing-sunglasses’ people would probably prefer to stay in bed, watch TV and eat their Frosties than go and pick up their results.
Like Zen monks they arrive into your school with a ‘not a single shit was given’ attitude and, to their surprise, they usually do better than expected. College will be perfect for these people.
3) The nervous ones
God love them because they took every single word that your teachers said as 100% gospel and they genuinely believe that failure to get an A+ in Higher level Maths will mean complete and utter failure in life.
Failure to get 600 points (or some crazy target) leads them to think that they’ve no chances of landing a decent job or missus and they’ll be banishment to the moon.
4) The disappointed ones
You know the type. Those people in your class that maybe weren’t the funniest but they caused no trouble either.
You wouldn’t call them 100% nerdy because they would still always chat to the teacher, usually about the latest football result though.
These are the type of normal people that you would happily meet up with somewhere down the line.
As Mick Jagger said “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you’ll find you get what you need.” Who are we to argue with the Rollling Stones? Believe us, you could base your entire life philosophy around Keith Richards and Mick Jagger.
5) The Ibiza lad
Good results or bad results, who cares! Some people really couldn’t care less. As far as they’re concerned, nothing is going to ruin the fact that six hours from now they will be on the beach in Ibiza and enjoying themselves.
If they had their way, they probably wouldn’t even want to know their results until they returned. And, if they had their way, then they’d probably never return and just live on Playa d’en Bossa for the rest of their lives.
6) The people who really don’t care
We love these people for the sheer fact that it wouldn’t make a jot of difference to them if they got 600 points or not, mainly because these guys already have their heart set on a minimum requirement for their course.
There is nothing quite like a well-executed plan and these people are usually the ones whose mothers say “If you put in an extra hour’s work you could get an extra ten points… or something”. There really is nothing better than opening that envelope and seeing that you got slightly more than you planned/needed.
We imagine that these lads will walk into their homes like Leonardo DiCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street and put everyone else to shame.
G’wan the lads!
7) The creepy/heroic guy
Leaving Cert night is one to enjoy because it’s the culmination of years of stress, hard work and studying. It’s right that students should unwind, however, beware of that lad who actually graduated from your school about three years ago and who is still only ‘out for the craic’.
And by this we mean he wants to console depressed people who are feeling slightly down about their results, or maybe he just wants to join in the fun with those people who are in a party mood.
If this sounds like anyone that you know then tell them that they are a bit strange but also something of a hero as well.
8) The lad desperately trying to shiftthe English teacher
Yes, we all had that one teacher in secondary school who we had a crush on but take our advice, the world of women doesn’t begin and end with Miss McCormack. *JOE pines for times gone by*
We understand the appeal of an older woman because there’s a certain aura of power and sexiness but there’s guaranteed to be one lad that tries to chat her up.
Truth be told, all great stories start with “Ah sure what’s the worst that can happen?” and, less so with “I’m sure she doesn’t have a boyfriend. I mean, why else would she come out tonight?”
9) The hanging around one.
These people feel the need to talk to everyone regardless if they were happy or sad with their results. Ironically, they probably never ever said a single word to you for the entire duration of your time in the school.
If you are one of these people then just remember these three things, 1) only your mates care about what you have to say, 2) other people think you’ve just lost your mind and 3) the teacher that you thought actually liked you will probably instantly forget you.
10) One too many Eoin
God love them but it seems that they were celebrating a bit too much. Be careful.
11) Crap plan maker
“Oh yeah, we’re definitely going to stay in touch. I have your number/Facebook/Snapchat and I’ll send you a message”.
Will this happen?
12) Reflective types
“Ah but when you think of it, school was great craic wasn’t it? Best time of our lives”.
No, no it wasn’t.
13) The cool kids
The people that get th epoints that they deserve and who you and your mates are happy to see succeed.
Stay in touch with these people because college is better with them.
JOE wishes all those students getting their results today the very best of luck and remember, IT DOESN’T MATTER what you get today. Trust us, you’ll be fine either way.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
