JOE.ie has put together a round table of movers and shakers of Irish business and politics who we think would be the first through the canvas in our imaginary Fianna Fáil tent at the Galway Races.
By William Nestor and Conor Hogan
The Fianna Fáil tent at the Galway Races has been cancelled for the third year running after our Taoiseach, Brian Cowen, pulled the plug on the former hub of Ireland’s economic merry-go-round earlier this month.
The Celtic Tiger no longer roars and the clearest indication in recent years comes through the decision to take away the infamous tent.
What was once the party’s biggest fundraiser of the calendar year, raising up on €100,000 from selling 500 seats at 48 tables on each of the four days of the racing festival, is now a thing of the past.
A table of ten used to cost €2,500 on the Monday and Tuesday and bumped up to €3,500 for the Galway Plate day on Wednesday and Ladies Day on the Thursday. How the good times used to roll.
Sadly, Ireland’s money-splashing heyday is a distant memory and there aren’t the available shillings needed to cover the cost of cloth and poles. If there was however, we reckon this rogue’s gallery of shamed Celtic Tiger big shots would be getting their mooch in the hospitality quarters.
Bertie Ahern
The former Taoiseach loves a punt. In September 2007, while being questioned at the Mahon Tribunal about a mysterious IR£30,000 payment, he said he must have given it to somebody to make a transaction his bank had no record of. Sadly, he couldn’t recall who he gave it too. He’ll probably be seen knocking around Ballybrit this year regardless of the absence of the Fianna Fáil tent.
Ahern is oblivious to the recession and will be a little surprised by the size of the new tent. There won’t even be enough space to put his make-up on. The others will have to be wary that he doesn’t charge them €5000 for making an appearance.
Sean Fitzpatrick
The former Anglo Irish Bank chairman could certainly do with making a few bob and brushing shoulders with the big guys again. He’s been declared bankrupt and owes the bank around €110 million. He’ll be backing the long-shots.
He’s a bit sick of gambling himself at the moment and he’ll possibly be testing out a new career as one of the course bookies. He’ll give you good odds as long as you can prove that you’ve never won before. If you do back with him, be on your guard. If yours is a win, he’ll try and find a way of not paying out. He’ll claim the horse didn’t cross the line, and that you only made it look that way with trick photography.
John O’Donoghue
Now here’s a man who enjoys his horse-racing. The former Fianna Fáil TD and Ceann Comhairle can be spotted at race meetings all over the world, from Longchamp to Cheltenham. His travel expenses he accumulated when Minister for Tourism caught up with him in the end but I think there would still be a seat at the round table for the Kerry man.
This year he’ll have to be a bit thriftier, so as not to arouse the wrath of the people again. Instead of a limo or a private jet, he’ll have to make do with the City Bus, or possibly hitch a ride off Ivor Callely.
Ben Dunne
The former kidnap victim has a history of being suspiciously friendly with politicians and wouldn’t be arriving at the track without a lump of cash. In the mid-1990s it emerged that Dunne gave the then Taoiseach, Charles Haughey, a nice wad for himself. Other politicians on the receiving end of some brown envelopes, from both sides of the fence, were revealed afterwards.
Dunne never hoped to benefit from these donations. It was just a hobby. Some people take up quilt making or stamp collecting. Dunne passed around brown envelopes and built extensions for Micheal Lowry. The man loved politicians and wanted to show his appreciation. Now that the tent is much smaller, he won’t find as many people in one place anymore.
Ray Burke
In 2005 Burke was jailed for six months for making false tax declarations, breaking a law that he himself had helped to pass. He earned himself four-and-a-half months in Arbour Hill prison for his trouble. Burke could probably do with some kiss-and-make-up time with his old cronies.
Ivor Callely
Callely is unlikely to miss any event that requires travelling. He’ll arrive there with a betting slip in one hand and a receipt for expenses in the other. Whether his travel expenses will be from his primary home in Dublin or his primary home in Cork is anyone’s guess.
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