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12th Aug 2013

Scandinavian men warned about testicle eating fish

A nasty new fish in Swedish waters has a habit of nibbling on your nether regions.

JOE

A nasty new fish in Swedish waters has a habit of nibbling on your nether regions.

If you’re heading to Sweden in the near future, we strongly recommend you either stay out of the water or wear a pair of shorts made of something very strong.

Lads in Sweden have been warned that a fish normally found in South America called the Pacu has been spotted in the Danish/Swedish strait of Oresund. And that is very bad news.

The Pacu is a cousin of the famous piranha but it doesn’t have razor sharp teeth and is a vegetarian. So it should have no interest in us but one of the Pacu’s favourite snacks is nuts, and the fish has been known to have a chomp on a testicle it thinks is a very different type of nut.

The fish have been found in nets in the area, with discarded pet fish the likely root of their appearance so far from home. And the experts at the Natural History Museum of Denmark told CNN: “Anyone choosing to bathe in the Oresund these days had best keep their swimsuits well tied.”

We’ll stay on dry land just to be sure…

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