Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Javier Mascherano, Mrs Fergie’s shopping and two Irishmen wanting a move to Celtic. All in this week’s Transfer Window round-up.
By Jonny Stapleton
Mrs Fergie’s shopping
You are more likely to see Jordan gossip in a broadsheet this week than you are Manchester United transfer gossip in any publication. United being linked with a host of expensive names is generally as common in the summer as rain at Wimbledon, rain at festivals and rain in Ireland, but that isn’t the case this year.
Considering Sir Alex Ferguson’s side’s stock seems to be falling at an equal rate to the banks, we’re of the opinion the Old Trafford side need some serious investment. United claim they have a £90million transfer kitty but if that was the case surely they would be perusing the world’s big names in a bid to overthrow Chelsea next term. In fact Ferguson should be linked with as many players as football man-eater Danielle Lloyd.
It is rumoured the only player they are considering spending money on is Mikel Arteta (they didn’t have much luck getting the last Mikel the chased). There was also mention of signing Joe Cole on a free, but that would seem very unlikely.
All United conjecture surrounds the Glazers’ billion-pound debt. The papers claim the deficit has ensured Mrs Ferguson‘s shopping outlay this summer could total more than her husband’s transfer equivalent.
It seems a lack of funds will mean United could be forced to line out with one Dimitar Berbatov next season. Unless, that is, new Wolfsburg boss Steve McClaren is successful with his bid to ruin a reputation he rebuilt at FC Twente. Fergie’s former assistant has allegedly offered £20 million for the Bulgarian.
Zlatan to cross Bridge
It seems Carlo Ancelotti wants to do a United and get a talented yet lazy lank to lead his line.
Both the Blues manager and Sweden’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic were spotted holidaying in Florida so the Red Tops’ put two and two together and came up with a potential £25 million pound bid!
Ibra’s English pedigree isn’t of the highest quality. Apart from when he played for an inspired Barcelona against Arsenal earlier this year he has never scored against Premier League opposition. (Now mind you, right back wannabe Dirk Kuyt, whose scoring prowess in front of goal is as poor as his night club record, could have registered a hat-trick playing up front for the brilliant Barca that night.)
Considering the aforementioned and the fact Chelsea have been this week linked with the likes of David Silva, Atletico Madrid’s Sergio Aguero, Javier Mascherano, Yossi Benayoun, Angel di Maria of Benfica fame, Alexandre Pato, and even Kaka, JOE can’t see them perusing Ibra.
Manchester Richy
Manchester City are to the transfer window column what Samantha Fox was to Page Three.
There might be a famine at United but there is a feast at Eastlands. James Milner could be first in the door just in time to get squad number 1013 after City upped their bid to £27 million. It is believed however that Aston Villa will hold out for £30 million.
Dream Boat Fernando Torres is said to be considering an amazing £200,000 a week package from the recession-proof, Sheikh-backed club.
A rather new rumour sees Steven Pienaar, who plays football to ‘glorify God and not for money’ linked to a move to light Blues. Pienaar is not happy with the amount of money on offer at Everton.
And the usual Manchester City suspects Ibrahimovic, Steven Gerrard, di Maria, Yoann Gourcuff, Fernando Gago, Javi Martinez, Silva and Edin Dzeko were all also mentioned this week.
So eager to impress the gossip columns were City that they provided as much news about potential departures as recruits. Stephen Ireland is going, but to where we don’t know. Micah Richards will be thrown in to sweeten several potential deals. The man with three famous names Roque Santa Cruz looks destined for Marseille. Even best player Carlos Tevez was linked with Bayern Munich. Further down the pecking order, Martin Petrov, Sylvinho and Benjani were all chopped from the pay-bill.
High street Harry
Harry Redknapp (below) enters new territory with Spurs next season as he leads the White Hart Lane club into their first Champions League campaign.
As a result football’s Del Boy equivalent has decided to enter new transfer window ground. ’Arry seems to have traded the football market place he excelled in for a high street brand name store. Wheeler dealer Redknapp is doing his best cash flush boss impression with a £20 million bid for Spanish League scoring sensation and Premier League flop Diego Forlan.
The former West Ham and Portsmouth boss is also rumoured to writing cheques for Ashley Young, Pienaar, Berbatov, Matthew Upson, David James and Carlton Cole.
Redknapp might let two players who may have promised much but whose greatest achievements are winning the Soccer AM crossbar challenge, Jermaine Jenas and David Bentley, leave for Villa.
Then again there are a few Merseyside gossips who reckon Redknapp is missing the buzz of wheeling and dealing with a broke club and has decided to join Liverpool! By all accounts ‘Arry might bow to King Kenny Dalglish’s request to take the Anfield helm.
Ferry out of the Mersey
It is believed Rafa Benitez decided to ferry back across the Mersey and leave the club after being told his transfer kitty would replicate Greece’s budget.
On previous evidence and considering the Spaniard spent over £100million on the likes of Josemi, Antonio Nunez, Jan Kromkramp, Ryan Babel, Gabriel Palletta, Andrea Dossena and Andriy Voronin, any cash injection could have proved more lethal than the death row equivalent.
Considering the club are broke and just donated a substantial pay off to the charity that is Rafa, the man that inherits the ‘Pool hot seat (rumoured to be one of Roy Hodgson, Martin O’Neill, Harry Redknapp, Kenny Dalglish, Sven Goran Eriksson, Jurgen Klinsmann or Frank Rijkaard)will have no transfer funds.
Yet Liverpool remain to gossip columns what politicians are to expenses scandals. Unfortunately for the Red faithful, however, all the talk is departures-based. The bad news gets worse considering those due to depart for what would be for a fittingly lesser stage are not Babel, Philipp Degen, Albert Riera, Lucas Leiva or David NGog.
It could be Stevie G-one if Gerrard signs for Real Madrid. Torres could choose Manchester City, Chelsea or Barcelona as his new goal scoring venue next term, while Mascherano has a number of suitors, including a possible Rafa reunion at Inter Milan, and is desperate to leave rainy England.
Saga gets a subplot
Gael Clichy has become the latest Arsenal player to be targeted by Barcelona. If Madrid want to sign Ashley Cole then Barca want to go one better by purchasing his Emirates replacement.
Barca’s interest in the Frenchman adds a little spice to the ‘Fabregas Saga’. Conflicting rumours suggest the Gunners shot down bids of £50-£60million this week for Fabregas, who after consulting the CSI team Xavi found out has ‘Barcelona DNA’.
Wenger has also been linked to another goalkeeper soon to qualify for the pension, Mark Schwartzer. It seems the learned Frenchman is to ditch his youth policy and sign the Fulham netminder.
JOE reckons the young goalkeepers union won’t be too happy. Its seems you have to put in 20 year apprenticeship to be a top netminder these days. The good news for Ireland is that means the amazing Shay Given can only get better!
Ireland’s call
Irish star’s agents have been busy this week taking calls from clubs enquiring about the players signed to their books.
Liam Lawrence, who was once kicked out of Sunderland for scoring whilst a number of team-mates assisted, is down on one knee begging Tony Pulis to allow him trade Stoke for Celtic.
Chasing supermodel Caprice is not the only thing Sean St Ledger (above) has in common with Lawrence. St Ledger also wants to prove he bleeds green and endure himself further to Irish fans by moving to Celtic.
By all accounts Ireland’s greatest recent find and former Middlesbrough disaster has also begged Neil Lennon to make him his first Old Firm signing.
Another who often finds himself in the negative spot light, Paddy Kenny, has upset Sheffield United fans by heading off to QPR.
Colin Healy is the latest Irishman to be recruited and discarded by Roy Keane. The Cork midfielder is off to Hartlepool.
The bouncing locks of the industrious Stephen Hunt can be acquired for £3million. It seems Mick McCarthy will ensure the enthusiastic winger will be at Wolves next term by meeting the asking price ahead of Birmingham.
Celtic’s Aiden McGeady is being pursued by former Rangers boss Alex McLeish. McLeish wants the wing wizard at Birmingham but faces competition from none other than Sparta Moscow .
Best of the rest
Thomas ‘the Hammer’ Hitzlsperger has fittingly signed for the Hammers. The former Villa bore becomes Grandad Grouch Avram Grant’s first West Ham signing.
Craig Bellamy could be in the Championship or the Champions League next season, depending on which rumour you believe. His potential team-mates at Cardiff or Spurs will keep their golf-clubs under wraps.
Fulham manager Roy Hodgson is tired of being the only man on the training ground who speaks seven languages and reads books so he has bought an intellectual equivalent in the form of Philippe Senderos from Arsenal.
Mick McCarthy is keen on the £2.5million-rated Senegal midfielder Guirane N’Daw. Birmingham want Palermo striker Fabrizio Miccoli. West Ham are interested in Espanyol’s former Chelsea striker Ben Sahar. Blackburn are back on the trail of Poland striker Robert Lewandowski. Bolton boss Owen Coyle will offer up to £2m for Portsmouth striker David Nugent, and West Brom boss Roberto Di Matteo is set to make a £1.2million swoop for goalkeeper Boaz Myhill.
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