For Sale: A banana slicer AND a police radio scanner? We think we may have found Ireland's most brilliant online seller... 7 years ago

For Sale: A banana slicer AND a police radio scanner? We think we may have found Ireland's most brilliant online seller...

We want it all. NOW.

We don't know who you are and we don't know where you're from mystery Internet person, but what we do know is that we want to be your friend. Or, if that whole friendship thing is asking too much of you, we at least want you to give us all of your amazingly cool stuff.

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Having signed up for the brand spanking new, free-to-use buy and sell Irish website SoSellit.com, site user Siuda has, over the past few weeks, uploaded the most brilliantly bizarre collection of items and put them up for sale. You can check out their full fantastic profile by clicking here but, in the meantime, we've compiled just a few of our favourite incredible items.

Trust us, Del Boy's got nothin' on this punter...

Kitchen Tool Helper Banana Slicer

Struggling when slicing your bananas in the kitchen? Fear not, SoSellit.com has just the thing... "Cut a banana into pieces instantly!"

banana slicer

Halloween Dress Up Costume Imitation Butt Pants

Not happy with how your own horrible butt looks? These imitation butt pants are exactly what you need...

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butt pants

GRE PSR-295 1000 Channel Radio Scanner Wideband

Yeah, we're not sure why you'd need a police radio scanner either. Or maybe you just want to listen to Joe Duffy in the afternoon? Either way, 1000 channels is enough for any radiohead...

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Solar-Powered Torch

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We'll be honest, we always thought that solar-powered torches were the stuff of myths and bedtime stories. How wrong were we...

Solar and Battery-Powered Spoon with a Digital Volume Scale

Speaking of solar-powered, this spoon charged (entirely unnecessarily) by the power of the sun is perfect for those secret midnight raids to the kitchen for yet another bowl of tasty, tasty Coco Pops. Plus, the digital volume feature on the item will let you know exactly how much you're shovelling into yourself you greedy monster...

spoon

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Multiple alcohol breathalysers

Not one but two of these digital breath alcohol testers feature in Siuda's profile. Maybe that explains the police scanner after all.

Ford Mondeo MK4 (2008)

That's right, they're selling their car. Along with their banana slicer. This site really does have everything.

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Practical Joke Injured Finger (Nail Through Finger Edition)

Because novelty butt pants aren't enough on their own...

finger joke

Believe us when we say that these items are only the beginning, head over to Siuda's profile on SoSellit.com to check out the full thing in all of its Internet glory. For now though, we'll leave you with this...

futurama meme

All images via Siuda on SoSellit.com and Joyces-Style.