Got a filthy car? Don’t wash it, be proud of it

Drivers in Britain are being urged to refrain from washing their cars and to wear their dirty motor like “a badge of honour” in an effort to save the environment.

Keeping their vehicle in prime condition is a must for many drivers who couldn’t bear the thought of parading around in a car that looks like it has just been pulling donuts in a field full of mud, but water conservationists are urging motorists to let the filth fester in order to cut down on day to day water use.

Due to the recent spell of pleasant weather, parts of England are experiencing a drought not seen since the last serious one in 1976 and people in the South East are being urged to restrict water by resisting the need to wash their cars and the outside of their houses.

According to a report in the Daily Telegraph, Thames Water has produced hundreds of bumper stickers with the rather embarrassing tagline ‘Proud to be dirty’, which they hope will encourage drivers to stop washing their cars in the summer. Of course such a slogan elicits all sorts of other sleazier connotations, but perhaps that was an oversight on Thames Water’s behalf.

“People should wear dirty cars like a badge of honour, said Simon Evans of Thames Water.

“You should be proud to have the dirtiest paintwork in Britain. It's green to be brown!"

Other recommended water-saving measures include restricting time spent in the shower to four minutes and allowing dirty dishes and clothes to accumulate to maximise the use of washing machines and dishwashers, while the spraying of children – but not animals – with a garden hose will be strongly frowned upon.

If younger residents of the South East of England think that those measures are a tad harsh, they should thank their lucky stars they weren’t around in 1976, when it was recommended that people take shared baths in order to cut down on water usage.