Review: Faster

Remember the days when The Rock was once a promising superstar in Hollywood, succeeding where Hulk Hogan failed and most recently where John Cena floundered even worse?

The Rock burst from the WWF ring to the big screen with Chuck Russell’s brainless-but-fun The Scorpion King back in 2002. While it was hardly a showcase for his acting talents, it proved a minor success at the box-office capturing the audiences attention.

Two years later, now credited as Dwayne Johnson, he returned oozing tons of charisma with the surprisingly good Welcome To The Jungle and Walking Tall. And impressively, he acted the likes of John Travolta and Uma Thurman off the screen as a gay bodyguard in the lame Get Shorty sequel – Be Cool.

While his films weren’t always praised by the critics, they certainly agreed on that the former wrestler would go on to make better movies and rapidly become the new Willis, Stallone or Schwarzenegger.

Hopes were high and then hopes were dashed. When the R-rated Doom bombed spectacularly, Disney came calling and he went all soft. The Game Plan, Race To Witch Mountain and most-grudgingly, The Tooth Fairy followed. As expected, kids flocked while adrenaline junkies scarpered looking to whet their appetites elsewhere and with someone new.

Now we have Faster, which is not The Rock’s return to his former glory; in fact the most fascinating thing about this genre-confused wannabe actioner is how his head is the size of a mini-fridge.

The story begins with a criminal being released on parole, known only as Driver (Johnson) and immediately setting out on a bloody vendetta to seek revenge on those who killed his brother and doubled-crossed him during a heist.

After he kills his first target he’s tracked by Cop (Billy-Bob Thornton) and Killer (Oliver Jackson-Cohen), who both have vendettas of their own.

Difficult

It’s difficult to begin to criticise a film that doesn’t know what it wants to be. Faster begins with a cool soundtrack, a violent first kill and nameless characters suggesting that director George Tillman (Men of Honour, Notorious) is aiming for a 70s exploitation style, already homaged to perfection by Tarantino (Death Proof, Kill Bill) and Rodriquez (Planet Terror, Machete).

Here, Tillman's lack of knowledge of Grindhouse cinema is obvious, never pushing the limit into the realms of hammy acting and cartoon über-violence which are tokens of the genre.

The action is completely inept. For a film called Faster you’d expect some ace car chases but thanks to some horrific editing it is about as thrilling as watching a crippled puppy get up a flight of stairs. It gets worse though, Tillman manages to fumble something as simple as a good old fashioned shoot-out, failing to ignite a single ounce of adrenaline.

Tillman isn’t the only one to blame for this mess; Tony & Joe Gayton’s script becomes increasingly misguided and confused as the film progresses. They anchor the already-muddled plot with spiritual and “God forgives all” overtones and subplots which not only pisses on their own ideas but looks like it came from an entirely different film.

When a film climaxes with the anti-hero finding God, you know Faster has outstayed its welcome.

The characters are equally lifeless. Johnson remains almost dialogue free. Unintentional or not, he looks awkward and at times almost comatose. A great supporting cast is wasted; Carla Gugino, Tom Berenger and Moon Bloodgood are mere plot devices rather than fully developed characters.

And then there is Brit actor Oliver Jackson-Cohen, who is not only a horrendous actor but portrays one of celluloid’s crappiest assassins.

Mark Kinsella