Shameless Bandwagon Jumping: The beginner’s guide to cricket

If you delighted in Ireland’s recent victory over England at the Cricket World Cup without having a clue what was going on, rest assured, you weren’t the only one. With Ireland going up against the West Indies tomorrow and still in with a chance of qualification, it’s time to get up to speed.

For your convenience, JOE gives you the rules of cricket in their simplest form:

By Iarla Duignan

Now that Ireland have beaten England in cricket, it seems we have a new national sport (for at least the next two weeks). Everyone has embraced the newest craze, similar to the tennis mania that takes over on makeshift tennis courts around the country during Wimbledon.

The kids are bringing their cricket bats to the park - a feat that would have probably resulted in bullying last month – as they attempt to follow in the footsteps of Irish hero Kevin O’Brien. It is even creeping into our pub talk alongside the usual suspects of football and those damn penalties in the rugby.

All victories are nice, especially against our noisy neighbours, and it’s all well and good jumping on the bandwagon and reminding our English friends about their team’s shortcomings. But, do we actually know anything about how it’s played? For the average Irish man, the answer is no.

So before Ireland’s next game at the ICC World Cup against the West Indies on Friday, read this guide to cricket and you will never have to ask another question that would have the average cricket fan scoffing.

“Why do they keep rubbing their balls?”

“Was that a home-run?”

“Why are they shouting at the ref... surely that’s a yellow card.”

After you read this, you won’t be out of place in Dhaka, Bangladesh, sharing anecdotes with the locals about India’s shaky middle order. OK, maybe that’s pushing it, but at least you’ll have an idea of what’s going on.

Overview

The game of cricket has a very simple premise; it is in some ways, a distorted game of baseball. The idea is very similar; two teams of eleven face off and take turns at batting and fielding.

The original game was developed as a four or five day match, known in international terms as a test match. But as attention spans shortened worldwide, a new, hip version was created: One-Day Internationals (ODI).

Despite the disapproval of the purists, the game took off and kept most people happy. A shorter version has since been created, the Twenty20 game, which lasts about three hours. We, however, will concentrate on the ODI version, as it is the game played at this World Cup.

Ultimately the umpires decision and can be very controversial. In that regard, think of LBW as the cricket equivalent of the square ball in GAA.

The object of the game is to score runs and take wickets (Get the batsmen out), so effectively the batsmen are attacking and the fielding team are defending. In One Day Internationals the team with most runs at the end wins.

Think of it in terms of Barcelona versus Arsenal, the Spanish (batsmen) trying to run up the score, while the English team (fielders) were trying to prevent them scoring as much as possible, while maybe nicking the odd goal (wicket). Except that rather than dominating the game, the English batsmen will have equal opportunity to do the same to the Spanish and whether or not Robin van Persie kicked the ball away after the whistle will have little impact on the final outcome.

Pitch

The pitch is an oval with a batting pitch in the middle. The batting pitch is a box that is 22 yards long from crease to crease. The crease is located at both ends of the pitch and they indicate where you may safely bowl and where a batsman may safely stand. Added to the mix are stumps, which are literally three sticks in the ground with 2 little pieces of wood (bails), placed on top that remain unattached and can be knocked off.

Trent Johnson celebrates after taking the wicket of Gautam Gambhir against India

The stumps are like a batsman’s child, they have to treat them with care and protect them from the onrushing bowlers. They are also like batsmen’s children in that the batsmen tend to stand with their back to them for most of the time and only pay attention when they kick up a fuss. They can also be called a wicket.

Overs

Cricket matches are divided into “overs” and “innings”. An over is 6 deliveries in a row by one bowler, after which the fielding team change ends and give another guy a go. A bowler cannot bowl two overs in a row and can bowl a maximum of 10 in a One Day International. In ODIs, each team gets one innings of 50 overs.

An innings ends when the team reaches the 50 over limit (i.e 300 balls have been bowled) or loses 10 wickets (which would leave only one of the eleven team batting on the pitch and there need to be two on the pitch so that when the bowler changes ends he has someone to bat to).

Batting & Bowling

Plays begin when a bowler delivers a ball in an attempt to get a wicket, and the batsman protects his wicket whilst looking to score runs. As previously mentioned, in cricket there are two batsmen at the crease at one time, one at each wicket. When the ball is hit and it is safe to run, the batsmen attempt to run between the wickets as many times as they can without getting “run out”. One length of the pitch is one run.

The quickest way to pile up run is to hit the ball out of the park. If the ball bounces its way out the park, you get four runs and if you hit it directly out (like a home run) you get six runs. No need to waste any energy after these shots, just stand and admire. Think of Henry Shefflin or Seanie McMahon in his prime knocking over a 75-yard free against the wind to get an idea of the magnitude of such a hit.

The bowler doesn’t change ends after every ball, so if a batter scores an odd number of runs, the guy at the opposite end will have a chance to face the bowler. Similarly, in between overs the fielding team change ends, so the batsman at the non-striking end for the previous over will face the bowler. Batters stay on the pitch until they give up their wicket, when the next batter in the line-up takes his place.

Still with us? OK, let's continue.

There are two important penalties that also cost the fielding team runs:

No Ball: This is called when a batsman steps over the line of the crease. The fielding team is penalised one run and they have to bowl an extra ball. A no-ball can also be called if the ball bounces twice after being bowled or if the bowler throws the ball (rather than bowl).

Wide: Aussie Rules isn’t the only sport that scores wides, only this time the team is penalised one run and an extra bowl if the bowler is especially wayward with his delivery.

Outs

There are ten ways a batsman can get out in a game. They are usually followed by an appeal by the fielding team, where they turn to the umpire and shout in unison at him and wave their finger in the air. Obstructed fielder, handled ball and ball hit twice are three examples and are also extremely rare. The rest are:

Caught: Self explanatory really, if the ball is hit in the air and is caught by a fielder without hitting the ground. Simples.

Bowled: This is the macho way for a bowler to get a wicket. The ball hits the stumps directly and lifts the bails off the stumps. Cue bowler puffing his chest out and staring down the batsman with arrogance and disdain.

Run Out: When the batsmen are running between the wickets and the ball hits the stumps before one gets back into his crease.

Stumped: This is when the wicketkeeper (like a baseball catcher) catches the ball after a delivery gets past the batter and then knocks the bails off the stumps while the batsman has stepped out of his crease. (As they often do when attempting a big swing.)

LBW (Leg Before Wicket): Extremely hard to understand. Basically it has to do with the ball hitting the batter’s body (without hitting the bat) when it was on course to hit the stumps. It's ultimately the umpire's decision and can be very controversial. In that regard, think of LBW as the cricket equivalent of the square ball in GAA.

Hit Wicket: This is when the batsman knocks the bails off the stumps by accident. You could call this the own goal of cricket, except it’s infinitely more embarrassing.

Timed Out: I don’t know if Dimitar Berbatov has ever played cricket, but maybe he would struggle with this rule. When a new batsman is coming to the crease, he has three minutes to get ready to face a ball. Only the laziest of people would ever get out this way, but hey, this is a sport that often incorporates a ‘tea break’, so anything is possible.

Language

Now you know how the game is played, it’s time to sound the part as well. Here are five different pieces of Cricket lingo, so you can nod along with Nasser Hussain and his colleagues at Sky Sports as they break down the games.

Howzat - Basically ‘howzat’ is a load of players shouting ‘how’s that’ as they appeal to the umpire in unison. Now you can join in with the fielding team as they appeal to the umpire and give one big loud HOOOOWZAAAT!

Sledging - Cricket players aren’t always sharing tea and scrumpets with each other as they may be stereotyped. They often get involved in slagging matches like real men.

Australian wicket-keeper Rodney Marsh, for example, once welcomed English batsman Ian Botham to the wicket with the line ‘So how’s your wife and my kids?’ Botham replied: ‘The wife’s fine, the kids are retarded’.

Or, have a look at Freddie Flintoff showing how it’s done below.

Duck - If a batsman is out before he scores any runs, he is said to be “out for a duck”. JOE isn’t sure why they chose this term, but maybe it’s because they have to waddle off the field in embarrassment immediately after coming on.

Silly Point - OK, this may not help you too much when you’re chatting Cricket with your friends, but we thought we’d share the most amusing fielding position, narrowly beating out “Fine Leg”.

Shining - You may notice that the players often rub the ball on their crotch a lot. This is not some sort of fetish they have, apparently they are shining one side of the ball, to help it move in the air more. Yeah, right.

And finally... if none of this made any sense whatsoever, here is the tea-towel explanation of cricket by Lord Bane to dispel any doubts.

Cricket: As explained to a foreigner...

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.

Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.

When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.

Sometimes you get men still in and not out. 

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.

There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.

When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game

JOIN US FROM 4am GMT on Friday 11 March as we track Ireland v West Indies in the Cricket World Cup.