Not so long to go, in a galaxy far far away…
On the JOE calendar we always have a few very important future dates marked in red. August 16 marks the start of the Premier League, September 5 sees the return of the Guinness Pro 12 and April 29 is Marty Morrissey’s birthday.
As huge as these dates are, JOE is counting the days until December 18, 2015 aka the release date for Star Wars: Episode VII.
We already brought you news of photos and hilarious fake footage that have been leaked from the set, but the first rumours about the plot have just hit the web.
JOE is ringing our loudest spoiler alert klaxon, so if you would like your life to remain Star Wars spoiler free, then look away now.
Still with us? Of course you are.
According to Badass Digest, the plot will revolve around the hunt for Luke Skywalker after an opening scene in which the ageing Jedi Knight’s severed hand, complete with lightsaber, tumbles through space and is found on a desert planet by two young adventurers.
This is what they had to say in full:
“Imagine the standard Star Wars crawl, and when it ends the camera pans up to the stars. But instead of a spaceship zooming into frame we see… a hand! A severed hand, tumbling through space. A severed hand gripping a light saber.
That hand falls onto a desert planet, where it is discovered by characters who will be our heroes. One is Daisy Ridley. The other is John Boyega, who is playing someone trying to change his path in life (again, I’m keeping it vague here). They recognize the light saber as a Jedi relic and decide to return it to the proper people.
Their quest takes them off world, and they meet up with Han Solo and Chewbacca, who aren’t flying around in the Millenium Falcon anymore but are piloting… well, that could be a spoiler. I’ll leave it. Anyway, Han and Chewie recognize the light saber as Luke’s, and they say they haven’t seen their friend in thirty years, since the events of Return of the Jedi.
So begins a quest to find the missing Jedi Master. Meanwhile, on an ice planet, nefarious forces are building a super weapon, one capable of destroying not planets but entire solar systems…”
According to Badass Digest, the narrative sweep of Episode VII intentionally echoes 1977’s Star Wars, with the quest for Skywalker replacing the original protagonist’s hunt for Obi Wan Kenobi. Disney has so far refused to confirm or deny the rumoured plot details, which remain unconfirmed.
JOE has high hopes for Episode VII especially with Abrams in the directors chair. It definitely can’t be as bad as The Phantom Menace. After writing this there is only one thing that JOE wants to hear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jH6wXaLQIMQ
Clip via – NinjaDoctor9
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