You are definitely one of these people…
College students know all too well that exams are just around the corner, just in time to absolutely ruin your Christmas holidays. But not to worry, as you’ve been telling your parents all year, you’ve been keeping on top of your work. You’re more than ready for what lies ahead. You didn’t go to Coppers that Tuesday night when you should have been in the library. You’re good to go.
Or not…
There are nine types of people you’ll encounter of the coming weeks. You will love some of them. You will hate some of them. Either way, you’d better get used to them.
1. The chancer
This person lives their life on the edge. His methods of studying are not for the faint-hearted. He picks one topic that he reckons will come up, and just studies that. If anything else comes up, he’s done for. But he’s willing to take the risk. An admirable character, but one that we don’t recommend becoming if you’ve any drive whatsoever.
2. The eejit
They have done nothing all year. They never showed up to class, and they Facebook message you the Sunday before the exam asking you for your notes. Don’t be this guy. While you sat through that 9am lectures, he was putting up Snapchat stories of himself in bed watching the new season of Peaky Blinders.
You might envy them, but don’t become them.
3) The planner
Basically the antithesis of the eejit. This person has been in every second of every single class. The person who hangs back at the end of class to ask the lecturer a question they already know the answer to, just to get in their good books. Although he or she undoubtedly has their life together, it’s not how college is supposed to be done. They will never know the true glory of pressing submit on an assignment 47 seconds before it’s due. They won’t ever appreciate the sweet taste of relief that you get from a pint after you’ve scraped a pass in your worst subject.
4) The legend
We all need one of these in our lives. They just sort you out. You always want to be in a group project with this guy. They don’t give you any grief when you ask them a question. They just make your entire college experience easier, and they really thrive in exam season. They can tell you exactly what they’re studying, and why. Get a legend in your life.
5) The liar
THE LIAR IS THE WORST.
They’ve been a liar their entire lives, and nothing will ever change. They’re the people who walk into the exam hall beside you, cool as a cucumber, but when you ask them how prepared they are, they deliver an Oscar-worthy performance that would convince a lie detector that they’ve actually done no work. “I swear I have done no work for this module, I am definitely gonna fail.” But when results come out, who is the one smugly smiling into their top-of-the-class result? The liar is smiling. The liar is always smiling.
Except when they get a b.
6) The mess
You have to feel for the mess. They really do try their best. They are in the library, “cramming” for hours of every day, but you can spot from a mile away that nothing is really going in. They have what looks like thousands of notes, but it’s going nowhere. They have dozens of tabs open on their laptop, they have the cans of monster at the ready, and are just trying to do absolutely everything they can to study, but it’s not working. The mess deserves sympathy. They’re trying. Give them that.
7) The party-animal
Ah the party-animal, we salute you. This is the person in your college group chat who only has one thing on his mind at all times. The session… Your group chat could be stressing to the nines about an exam or an assignment that’s due in the next few days, but he will have one solution to every problem. “Will we go for pints?” Every single time. Exams mean very little to the party-animal, they’re just hear for the good time. Never change.
8) The annoying one
This guy… You can’t allow yourself to be distracted by this guy, however tough it is. This is the person who will ask for more paper 15 bloody minutes into an exam. WHAT!? You’ve done 10 pages in 15 minutes? The rest of us are just about halfway through our second page, while they’re acting the Oliver Twist, giving it the old “Please sir, can I have some more?” Ignore the annoying one. You have to.
9) The lucky one
They haven’t done a tap of work, but they always seem to get out of jail. They have a 4,000 word assignment on something, and it just so happens that their brother has a Masters degree in that exact subject. They have an exam in a subject, and they will have done a load of research on it already for a different module. You can be secretly jealous of them, but don’t knock his hustle. As legendary baseball player Lefty Gomez once said, “I’d rather be lucky than good.”
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