A bizarre Tinder dating story involving police searches, leaky kayaks and drunk mothers
Including police, helicopters, and getting stranded on an island.
What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? No matter how bad they were, you probably didn’t end up being stuck on a tiny island, and the police being called to your house and telling your family that you were lost at sea.
A Reddit user by the name of Solomon posted the story of his horrendous date, and it is quite something.
It started out relatively innocently:
"I started talking to her and she asked me after a few messages if I wanted to go kayaking with her the following day. I said "Sure! I love kayaking." I figured I might as well, given that I do not own a kayak myself and I had that day off of work with nothing else to do."
Ok, kayaking is a little bit more intense than just a drink or a meal, but at least it’s different. He met up with her at her house in Florida, and quickly it was clear that he wasn’t into her.
"We talked for a couple minutes before we took off. I was not really interested in the girl after talking to her. Her pictures were misleading and she didn't strike me as my type personality wise. I thought we would just take out the kayaks, I would tell her I enjoyed meeting her and be on my way."
That is not what happened. She suggested they paddle out to a little island she knew of.
"We kayaked maybe ten minutes across very shallow water about two and a half feet deep. During the trip I asked her if she knew whether the tide was going in or coming out. Sounding very sure of herself she said "Coming in, I have never seen it this shallow before." I didn't trust her, I told her I thought we shouldn't risk it but she claimed it would be fine, and that she had been there plenty of times.
"We get to the Island and walk around. It was a nice spot with a nice view of the ocean… The sun was very close to setting so I told her we should head back before it does. She agrees and we walk back to where our kayaks are parked to find that the flat we kayaked on before was now in about 15 inches of water, in other words there was no way to get back without walking across a bunch of coral and shit and risking possibly stepping on a stingray or something. So at this point I had no other option but to wait there with this girl until the tide came back in a bit, which would be a few hours at least."
So now he’s stuck on an island with a girl he doesn’t like. But things get worse. Solomon hadn’t taken his phone with him, which turned out to be a big mistake.
"I decided to make the best out of the time and have a nap while I waited. I asked her to wake me up when it looked like we could kayak back. Instead what I get woken up to is a coast guard helicopter flying out in the ocean, and her telling me that her mom, whom I did not even know, knew that we were out on kayaks (and) probably called them to look for us. Somehow they didn't see us waving our arms to try and let them know we were alright, we had to wait until it was time to kayak back."
Things continued to spiral out of control.
"When we arrive back at her house is where things get really shitty, her mom is there obviously drunk along with three police officers with flashlights shining them at us as we kayaked back in. The cops asked where we had been and I explained to them what had happened. Apparently the girl’s mom told the cops that she thought we were lost out at sea and that one of the kayaks had a leak in it."
And then his own family got involved.
"[The police] send an officer to my house at midnight while my parents are sleeping and wake them up.
"Worst part is that the officer told my parents the story that the girls mom told them. She started crying and panicking and for about an hour and a half she thought that I was lost at sea in the middle of the night on a sinking kayak. My mom called all of my siblings and told them right away, so my whole family was thinking that I was done for."
Quite a story. We're going to presume there wasn't a second date.