These are the 30 funniest tweets you might've missed in August
There he is!
August was another strong month on Twitter, so we'd like to extend a hearty congratulations to everyone involved in producing some of the funniest tweets the world has ever seen.
Users covered topics such as Enya's prowess, restaurants' hospitality towards crabs, Super Mario's inevitable arrest, salads for blokes, the practicality of cracking your fingers and much more.
As we've learned, it's physically impossible to keep tabs on all things at all times. Inevitably, some solid gold Twitter content is going to slip through your grasp every month.
Don't worry, we've got you covered. Here's 30 of the funniest tweets you might've scrolled past, you ungrateful son of a gun.
⚪️ Nonbinary Partner
🔘 Someone to sing the main part of Super Trouper while I sing the low “Su-p-per trou-p-per”
— set gender to no (@apathyart) August 1, 2018
Love Enya pic.twitter.com/XJfmm4TdfC
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) August 1, 2018
Just realised the opposite of Alec Baldwin is Alec Hairloss
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) August 2, 2018
— Shitgrinder (@YungShitgrinder) August 3, 2018
So you mean to tell me that a shrimp fried this rice
— Em (@chef_fuego) August 1, 2018
Pretty cool how restaurants have those tanks you can leave your crab in while you eat
— Rylie comrie (@ryliecomrie_) August 6, 2018
— Brendan O'Hare (@brendohare) August 11, 2018
white guy seeing a coworker for the first time that day: there he is
— 💦𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚝𝚘𝚖💦 (@YuckyTom) August 11, 2018
Somebody waited their whole life to write this serial number pic.twitter.com/WxnKJwVbHw
— Wendigo PB Fox (@tmaxxnc) August 14, 2018
I can't get past this captcha test pic.twitter.com/QiMzLO4wam
— llama (@LlamaInaTux) August 15, 2018
— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) August 16, 2018
We were a match made in heaven. Her, with her long, tan, slender body with straight, almost stiff blonde hair. And me, with my disruptive inability to discern between people and upturned brooms
— jhonrules is a rapist (@Barknado69) August 17, 2018
Doubt it pic.twitter.com/7G1Xemirdd
— Will (@b_dxvies) August 17, 2018
when I find myself in times of trouble
brother Mario comes to me
speaking words of wisdom "it's a me"
— 🌻Elle 🐈Gato🐈 Maruska 🌻 (@ellle_em) August 18, 2018
We make out like Fireman Sam is a hero but he is an absolute hack. Only about 25 people live in Pontypandy and they are setting fire to something EVERY SINGLE DAY.
EDUCATE THEM SAM. GO BEYOND THE HOSE.
— Laura (@fairycakes) August 15, 2018
<Mario calling his Mum from jail>
MUM: Who is this?
MARIO: It's a me! Mario!
MUM: Oh! What's up sweetie?
MARIO: I am arrested!
MUM: Oh good. I slept well too.
— Bec Hill (Be Chill) (@bechillcomedian) August 21, 2018
honestly I just made this and I feel bad pic.twitter.com/QxCMZIpvFn
— popbitch.com (@HarryPhillips15) August 20, 2018
the hot water takes a little longer to come out cause they have to slice up the jalapenos and put them in the pipes
— phil (@PhilJamesson) August 20, 2018
Ahh so that’s her surname pic.twitter.com/7ravym6oZD
— Summer Ray (@SummerRay) August 25, 2018
bloke salad, for blokes pic.twitter.com/r46QudvLk6
— Kojaque (@kojaque) August 26, 2018
an angel’s hair...... a demon’s touch.... pic.twitter.com/i9tyYLSdfa
— hot girl bummer (@COOL_GHOUL_) August 27, 2018
The entire restaurant when somebody order fajitas pic.twitter.com/H2AmLPrPkU
— prosecco papi (@destino_desafio) August 28, 2018
people crack their fingers to make them menthol
— 𝕭𝖚𝖈𝕶𝖋𝖆𝖘𝖙 𝕾𝖔𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 (@dgahk) August 30, 2018
eminem: *steadily yelling* i’m fucked up cus i fuck cups and i cusp suck on more sluts in the butt what in the butt what and when i cut ducks duck rubber goose, green moose, guava juice, giant shake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake
— jaboukie? (@jaboukie) August 31, 2018
James Cameron's 1997 film "Titanic" is not a poignant story of love and loss, but a cautionary tale about an elderly woman still obsessed with a sex weekend she had with a rando over 80 years before. In this TED Talk I will
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) August 24, 2018
i hope this fan who met zac efron and vanessa hudgens in 2008 and had the nerve to ask for pictures while they were shopping for sex toys for vanessa's birthday is having a good day pic.twitter.com/g9Fz0I2N1S
— sadie (@sadieannerue) August 25, 2018
Boy bee: you look nice
Girl bee: thanks you too
Boy bee: your knees in particular are just outstanding
— Abbie (@AbbieEvansXO) August 28, 2018
well I'm certainly glad THIS exists pic.twitter.com/4jtB4w8Mrd
— katkaesque 🐜 (@katmsinclair) August 23, 2018
My cat was drinking Otis’ water and he looked up at me like he was in an episode of The Office lmao pic.twitter.com/hYqzoNKMiW
— Sam (@samanthughhh) August 26, 2018