These are the 30 funniest tweets you might've missed in August
There he is!
August was another strong month on Twitter, so we'd like to extend a hearty congratulations to everyone involved in producing some of the funniest tweets the world has ever seen.
Users covered topics such as Enya's prowess, restaurants' hospitality towards crabs, Super Mario's inevitable arrest, salads for blokes, the practicality of cracking your fingers and much more.
As we've learned, it's physically impossible to keep tabs on all things at all times. Inevitably, some solid gold Twitter content is going to slip through your grasp every month.
Don't worry, we've got you covered. Here's 30 of the funniest tweets you might've scrolled past, you ungrateful son of a gun.
1.
Man seeking:
⚪️ Woman
⚪️ Man
⚪️ Nonbinary Partner
🔘 Someone to sing the main part of Super Trouper while I sing the low “Su-p-per trou-p-per”— set gender to no (@apathyart) August 1, 2018
2.
Love Enya pic.twitter.com/XJfmm4TdfC
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) August 1, 2018
3.
Just realised the opposite of Alec Baldwin is Alec Hairloss
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) August 2, 2018
4.
— Shitgrinder (@YungShitgrinder) August 3, 2018
5.
So you mean to tell me that a shrimp fried this rice
— 🦋 (@emiilywrld) August 1, 2018
6.
Pretty cool how restaurants have those tanks you can leave your crab in while you eat
— Rylie comrie (@ryliecomrie_) August 6, 2018
7.
Hey @Apple THIS is what people want pic.twitter.com/Gk9ciPLt2C
— Brendan O'Hare (@brendohare) August 11, 2018
8.
white guy seeing a coworker for the first time that day: there he is
— 🌸𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝘁𝗼𝗺🌸 (@YuckyTom) August 11, 2018
9.
Somebody waited their whole life to write this serial number pic.twitter.com/WxnKJwVbHw
— Wendigo PB Fox (@tmaxxnc) August 14, 2018
10.
I can't get past this captcha test pic.twitter.com/QiMzLO4wam
— jeb (@LlamaInaTux) August 15, 2018
11.
CHOO-CHOO! pic.twitter.com/7P1C27Utro
— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) August 16, 2018
12.
We were a match made in heaven. Her, with her long, tan, slender body with straight, almost stiff blonde hair. And me, with my disruptive inability to discern between people and upturned brooms
— thom (@Barknado69) August 17, 2018
13.
Doubt it pic.twitter.com/7G1Xemirdd
— Will (@b_dxvies) August 17, 2018
14.
when I find myself in times of trouble
brother Mario comes to me
speaking words of wisdom "it's a me"— Elle Maruska (they/them) (@ellle_em) August 18, 2018
15.
We make out like Fireman Sam is a hero but he is an absolute hack. Only about 25 people live in Pontypandy and they are setting fire to something EVERY SINGLE DAY.
EDUCATE THEM SAM. GO BEYOND THE HOSE.— Laura (@fairycakes) August 15, 2018
16.
<Mario calling his Mum from jail>
MUM: Who is this?
MARIO: It's a me! Mario!
MUM: Oh! What's up sweetie?
MARIO: I am arrested!
MUM: Oh good. I slept well too.— bechillcomedian (@bechillcomedian) August 21, 2018
17.
honestly I just made this and I feel bad pic.twitter.com/QxCMZIpvFn
— harry p (@HarryPhillips15) August 20, 2018
18.
the hot water takes a little longer to come out cause they have to slice up the jalapenos and put them in the pipes
— phil (@PhilJamesson) August 20, 2018
19.
Ahh so that’s her surname pic.twitter.com/7ravym6oZD
— Summer Ray (@SummerRay) August 25, 2018
20.
bloke salad, for blokes pic.twitter.com/r46QudvLk6
— Kojaque (@kojaque) August 26, 2018
21.
an angel’s hair...... a demon’s touch.... pic.twitter.com/i9tyYLSdfa
— jo exotic (@COOL_GHOUL_) August 27, 2018
22.
23.
24.
people crack their fingers to make them menthol
— 𝘿𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙮 𝙒𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙇𝙚𝙜𝙨 (@dgahk) August 30, 2018
25.
me:
eminem: *steadily yelling* i’m fucked up cus i fuck cups and i cusp suck on more sluts in the butt what in the butt what and when i cut ducks duck rubber goose, green moose, guava juice, giant shake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake— giabuchi (@jaboukie) August 31, 2018
26.
James Cameron's 1997 film "Titanic" is not a poignant story of love and loss, but a cautionary tale about an elderly woman still obsessed with a sex weekend she had with a rando over 80 years before. In this TED Talk I will
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) August 24, 2018
27.
i hope this fan who met zac efron and vanessa hudgens in 2008 and had the nerve to ask for pictures while they were shopping for sex toys for vanessa's birthday is having a good day pic.twitter.com/g9Fz0I2N1S
— sadie (@sadieannerue) August 25, 2018
28.
[bee date]
Boy bee: you look nice
Girl bee: thanks you too
Boy bee: your knees in particular are just outstanding— Abbie (@AbbieEvansXO) August 28, 2018
29.
well I'm certainly glad THIS exists pic.twitter.com/4jtB4w8Mrd
— kat 🐜 (@katmsinclair) August 23, 2018
30.
My cat was drinking Otis’ water and he looked up at me like he was in an episode of The Office lmao pic.twitter.com/hYqzoNKMiW
— Sam (@samanthughhh) August 26, 2018
