25 of the funniest tweets from February
February, am I right?
Although it was a short month, the world's funniest tweets continued to appear on the timeline both thicc and fast over these past 28 days.
As always, we understand that it's impossible for everyone to see everything at all times.
Twitter is a busy place, It's inevitable that some solid gold will slip through your attention span at times.
You probably didn't even hear that they did surgery on a grape recently.
Topics covered last month included 21 Savage being thoroughly savaged, inventive insults, S Club 7's incredibly diverse attire choices, mince meat confusion and the harsh realities of being a Slytherin.
Here's 25 of the finest tweets produced during February...
[sees my dentist in the store]
*really loud fake phone call voice*
me: ya I’m just picking up some floss cause I ran out probably because I floss every day idk
— Trey (@continentlbkfst) February 1, 2019
Hangman is a lovely childhood game where you slowly draw a man killing himself if another kid can’t read your mind.
— Felicity "I kind of regret my show title" Ward (@felicityward) February 3, 2019
21 Savage eating a crumpet in the studio while no ones looking pic.twitter.com/EkPxxYb36D
— 𝐸𝓁𝓁𝒾𝑜𝓉𝓉 ⁶𓅓 (@IcySexton) February 3, 2019
Kim and Aggie walked so Marie Kondo could run
— Kate Demolder (@katedemolder) February 5, 2019
fool me once, fool on you. fool me twice, fool got two. fool me thrice, fool be poppin. fool four times, and the fool ain't stoppin
— phil (@PhilJamesson) February 4, 2019
Seal? I haven't heard that name in years pic.twitter.com/fhpy6vfclc
— Hozay Montana (@Hozay__) February 5, 2019
the REAL kinky shit is getting your rib removed so you can suck your own rib
— Avery Edison (@aedison) February 6, 2019
My favourite insult pic.twitter.com/wEK01k8OFr
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) February 6, 2019
A good thing to say to someone who is overindulging at a Chinese restaurant is “hey buddy, it’s called dim sum, not dim all.”
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) February 6, 2019
roses are red,
violets are blue... https://t.co/3TpxFS0rE1
— matt (@RobboRobson21) February 14, 2019
I was working last night so
I turned the tv on to keep the dog company.
The Princess Diaries 2 was showing.
I looked at her & genuinely said
“I’ll put something else on, you haven’t seen the 1st one”
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) February 15, 2019
friend: i’m hungover
me: stop flirting with me on the walkie talkies, someone’s gonna hear us. over
— rudy mustang (@rudy_mustang) February 17, 2019
i SAID what’s the story in balamory pic.twitter.com/xIspCOml0u
— rob (@ghoulcabin) February 18, 2019
Tina from S Club: Yeah, I'll probably wear something casual not like out-out.
Bandmates: Yeah, cool, same.
— Denise Curtin (@DeniseTCurtin) February 19, 2019
went down to city hall to get married and they said I have to provide my own husband? explain to me why I pay taxes
— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) February 17, 2019
smoking a menthol cigarette but popping the button halfway through so u can have the mint part for dessert? gourmet.
— charles henny macintosh (@gravezez) February 21, 2019
This works too well 😲 pic.twitter.com/4nqdDSSIyt
— Kristian (@vonstrenginho) February 25, 2019
impossible to know what year this photo was taken https://t.co/mFa0rvhlJD
— Carly Usdin (@carlytron) February 25, 2019
— tokyo//witch (@HOSTAGEKlLLER) February 15, 2019
🎶Tell me something girl... pic.twitter.com/XLNDSbXlRe
— lauren scharf (@LLcoolscharf) February 25, 2019
Apparently that thing in the bottom of a packet of mince is NOT a free face wipe! Who knew?!
— CHEESE MASTER (@dashdotdan) February 26, 2019
the funniest thing i’ve ever said was on april 11th 2009 to my dad’s cat and no one else was around to hear it. a car horn honked and he hopped off my bed and ran downstairs and i said “oh shit is your ride here” and laughed alone to myself for like five minutes straight
— 🍀old tom🍀 (@YuckyTom) March 1, 2019
you are not a slytherin you are in your 30s
— gradle of filth (@SuzeMarsupial) February 24, 2019
The Olsen twins look like one of them knows how you die and the other knows when you die. pic.twitter.com/1yKtpyruyD
— Miles JC (@lezjc) February 17, 2019