February, am I right?
Although it was a short month, the world’s funniest tweets continued to appear on the timeline both thicc and fast over these past 28 days.
As always, we understand that it’s impossible for everyone to see everything at all times.
Twitter is a busy place, It’s inevitable that some solid gold will slip through your attention span at times.
You probably didn’t even hear that they did surgery on a grape recently.
Topics covered last month included 21 Savage being thoroughly savaged, inventive insults, S Club 7’s incredibly diverse attire choices, mince meat confusion and the harsh realities of being a Slytherin.
Here’s 25 of the finest tweets produced during February…
1.
[sees my dentist in the store]
*really loud fake phone call voice*
me: ya I’m just picking up some floss cause I ran out probably because I floss every day idk
— Trey (@continentlbkfst) February 1, 2019
2.
Hangman is a lovely childhood game where you slowly draw a man killing himself if another kid can’t read your mind.
— Felicity "I kind of regret my show title" Ward (@felicityward) February 3, 2019
3.
21 Savage eating a crumpet in the studio while no ones looking pic.twitter.com/EkPxxYb36D
— Elliott ⁶? (@Significxnts) February 3, 2019
4.
Kim and Aggie walked so Marie Kondo could run
— Kate Demolder (@katedemolder) February 5, 2019
5.
fool me once, fool on you. fool me twice, fool got two. fool me thrice, fool be poppin. fool four times, and the fool ain't stoppin
— phil (@PhilJamesson) February 4, 2019
6.
Seal? I haven't heard that name in years pic.twitter.com/fhpy6vfclc
— Hozay Montana (@Hozay__) February 5, 2019
7.
the REAL kinky shit is getting your rib removed so you can suck your own rib
— Avery Edison (@aedison) February 6, 2019
8.
My favourite insult pic.twitter.com/wEK01k8OFr
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) February 6, 2019
9.
A good thing to say to someone who is overindulging at a Chinese restaurant is “hey buddy, it’s called dim sum, not dim all.”
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) February 6, 2019
10.
roses are red,
violets are blue… https://t.co/3TpxFS0rE1
— matt (@RobboRobson21) February 14, 2019
11.
I was working last night so
I turned the tv on to keep the dog company.
The Princess Diaries 2 was showing.
I looked at her & genuinely said
“I’ll put something else on, you haven’t seen the 1st one”— joe heenan (@joeheenan) February 15, 2019
12.
friend: i’m hungover
me: stop flirting with me on the walkie talkies, someone’s gonna hear us. over
— rudy mustang (@rudy_mustang) February 17, 2019
13.
i SAID what’s the story in balamory pic.twitter.com/xIspCOml0u
— rob (@ghoulcabin) February 18, 2019
14.
Baby i only posted “ where the hoes at??” So i can stay away from that area
— Lane (@osolane) February 19, 2019
15.
Tina from S Club: Yeah, I'll probably wear something casual not like out-out.
Bandmates: Yeah, cool, same.
#2003 pic.twitter.com/tuRAhkpBbQ— Denise Curtin (@DeniseTCurtin) February 19, 2019
16.
went down to city hall to get married and they said I have to provide my own husband? explain to me why I pay taxes
— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) February 17, 2019
17.
smoking a menthol cigarette but popping the button halfway through so u can have the mint part for dessert? gourmet.
— charles henny macintosh (@gravezez) February 21, 2019
18.
This works too well ? pic.twitter.com/4nqdDSSIyt
— Kristian (@vonstrenginho) February 25, 2019
19.
impossible to know what year this photo was taken https://t.co/mFa0rvhlJD
— Carly Usdin (@carlytron) February 25, 2019
20.
— tokyo//witch (@HOSTAGEKlLLER) February 15, 2019
21.
?Tell me something girl… pic.twitter.com/XLNDSbXlRe
— lauren scharf (@LLcoolscharf) February 25, 2019
22.
Apparently that thing in the bottom of a packet of mince is NOT a free face wipe! Who knew?!
— CHEESE MASTER (@dashdotdan) February 26, 2019
23.
the funniest thing i’ve ever said was on april 11th 2009 to my dad’s cat and no one else was around to hear it. a car horn honked and he hopped off my bed and ran downstairs and i said “oh shit is your ride here” and laughed alone to myself for like five minutes straight
— ?old tom? (@YuckyTom) March 1, 2019
24.
you are not a slytherin you are in your 30s
— wretchley park (@SuzeMarsupial) February 24, 2019
25.
The Olsen twins look like one of them knows how you die and the other knows when you die. pic.twitter.com/1yKtpyruyD
— Miles JC (@lezjc) February 17, 2019