We’ve played all the latest football games, but nothing can ever take the place of our beloved bog-standard Master League team…
When you began the long hard slog of a Master League career, you could take the coward’s route and pick the matchday squads, or, you could take a route with a bit of chest hair and tackle the ML default players. You laughed, you cried, you overcame obstacles, and eventually grew to know and love (as well as hate) them too. You also became very familiar with this music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBj5X1HQGZc
Here’s the starting XI that led us to promotion, as well as a series of Champions League victories. Our managerial CV boasts five treble-winning seasons.
Ivarov
If there was one thing you could say about Ivarov, it’s that he was always there. He wasn’t very good, but he showed up every day to training. Or at least we presume he did, we left training to the team coach.
Ruskin
Strong and unyielding, much like a Rusk biscuit, Ruskin was the man down the left side of the field who kept your defence in check and could run for days. Or at least 90 minutes, which none of the rest of the squad seemed capable of when you start your career.
Stremer
The Scandinavian’s positioning and commitment was never in question, and he was a solid option in the centre to tide you over for the first few seasons in charge. A stalwart of the club, he was a great leader out on the field.
Jaric
What a left peg this man had. He took over the free kick taking duties as soon as we took charge, and would have a handful of spectacular goals on his highlight reel every year. A good option for captain, if for some reason Stein was injured, or, as was a frequent enough occurrence, suspended for a red or several yellow cards. Was also known as Dulic back in the day.
Valeny
A centre back by trade, he often had to take up a position outside of his comfort zone to make room for the more talented Jaric, but he was an important member of the squad nonetheless. He was, as they might say Stateside, a wily veteran.
Macco
For some reason, we always found it difficult to part with Macco, even though we knew he’d hit his peak and he still wasn’t making the squad. A player we felt never really showed his full potential.
Burchet
He was quick across the ground, but not much good at anything else. The odd time he’d get an assist (get to the line and drill in a low cross by triple tapping the cross button) if you could get him in behind the defensive line with a nice slide rule pass, but he was one of the players that was first to go when it came time for a squad overhaul.
Espimas
An Adonis with golden locks, he wasn’t a permanent or unmovable fixture in the squad, but he was solid. Just look at that hair.
Dodo
A touch of Italian class and the mastermind of a midfield with Stein sitting behind and committing assault/meaty challenges. He sometimes lacked the vision to pick out a smart ball over the top, but he knew how to hold on to the ball and close out a tight game.
Stein
A sense of loyalty and a bond was created between any Irish PES player and Stein, the lone Paddy in the squad. Reminiscent of Roy Keane in his commitment to the tackle, we presume we weren’t alone in making him captain almost immediately and holding on to him well in to the years when his powers were on the wane.
Did we sub him on in a Champions League final with five minutes to go, give him the armband and nearly shed a tear as he lifted the trophy? Yes, yes we did.
Ximelez
His name began with an X, which guaranteed him a starting spot, and he was a decent through-ball merchant who could cut open a defence when he was on form. He wasn’t great when it came to stamina though, and we’d often replace him with Minanda or Espimas before the 90 minutes were up.
Castolo
The Brazilian in your squad that you turned to when a touch of flair was needed, he was often found lurking around the box and knicking a few goals.
He could slot in as a number ten if you went with three up front and needed more width too, and he was most certainly a fan favourite with the supporters at the stadium. We shifted a lot of Castolo shirts in the club shop. Great cornrows too.
Ordaz
The Dazzler, as he was affectionately known, was the main weapon for any Master League manager worth his salt. Not only was he a goal machine with his head and on the ground, but, as is the way when our team began to gain success and our league campaigns developed the momentum of a runaway freight train, he brought in a fairly decent transfer fee allowing us to bolster our squad with quality. He also always went to another quality club, so we never felt bad.
Signings later in your career were also important, as you needed to recognise young talent and snap them up before the other clubs got to them. No re-gens though, that was just cheating.
Nyatanga
Strong. Tall. Welsh. He had it all. He would slot in at left back (a position which he dominated, and where he would go on to win several trebles) but could also move to centre back, left midfield or defensive midfield if needed. A player of real quality.
Bradley
We’ve never seen a man score so many goals from the halfway line in a single career as this fella. Hit them and they would go in.
Shaw
It was a real test of your managerial vision when you got Shaw. He was small, but he was quick, and he needed a season or two before he really started to produce results. But when he did, good gravy, the sheer devastation. No angle was too tight on that left peg of his.
Bos
The Big Bos Man was THE player of his generation in the Master League. He dominated the entire midfield area, and even though he was only a whipper snapper when he joined up, he could slot straight in, banging in goals and smashing people up in the middle of the park.
Duffy
Another Irishman that would crop up early on, he could play across the entire midfield. Given enough game time, he was captaincy material, but if not, a great utility player in the squad. Had a hairband too, which was great.
Chapi
Very, very short, but skill to pay the billz and speed to burn. Reminded us of a young Argentine chap by the name of Messi.
Schwarz
Even though we always had a rake of attacking talent at our disposal, it was impossible to pass up on Schwarz when he became available as a youth player. Lethal on either foot, as well as in the air, you had to put up with about half a season while he learned the ropes, and then a decade of non-stop wonder goals from the wunderkind.
Adriano
Alright, he was a real player, but if you didn’t at least to try to sign him then you were playing the game wrong, especially in PES 5 & 6. The word ‘tin opener’ is thrown around all too often these days, but that left foot of his really was a weapon of mass desolation. Here he is in real life being bloody brilliant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePZZ2j4dmSY
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
