Ranking Ireland's Taoisigh in order of coolness
Tonight sees the conclusion of RTÉ drama Charlie, so what better time to rank Ireland's leaders in terms of street cred.
It's like a Vogue spread, with crusty old politicians instead of hipster models.
12 – John Bruton
He's about as exciting as a boiled potato with a side of cabbage. No bacon.
11 – Brian Cowen
Seems like the kind of man who’d laugh at those less fortunate than him, along with the rest of his golfing buddies. He did ride out the worst economic crisis in the country's history by getting pissed a lot, which would be how most of us would react, so some credit for that.
10 – Garret Fitzgerald
Seemed like a nice man. Also seemed like a man who’d sell spuds out the back of a Hiace whilst reciting a poem.
9 – Liam Cosgrave
Looks like a narky old Business Studies teacher. Would definitely drive a Volvo.
8 – Jack Lynch
Lynch won All-Irelands in both football and hurling, and has a tunnel named after him. All of which is pretty cool.
7 – Bertie Ahern
Oh Bertie, Bertie, Bertie. Always had a certain raffish charm, despite doing 0ne just as the country was going to hell in a handbasket.
6 – Sean Lemass
A great aul Taoiseach, to be fair. Looks like an army commander from a 60s WW2 film who organises a maverick bunch of commandos to kill some Nazi shits. Which isn't a bad thing. Extra points for being mates with JFK.
5 – WT Cosgrave
Has the look of a man who’s completely buzzed out. Plus, the suit is VERY Spring/Summer 2015. Knows something you don't.
4 - Enda Kenny
Enda knows the score. We all worried how he’d fare when meeting Obama and the boys, but he’s doing OK. You get the feeling that he listens to the likes of Nathan Carter behind closed doors though.
3 - Eamonn de Valera
Didn’t really do what anyone said/recommended, which is the sure sign of a badboy.
His signature look clearly inspired Rick Moranis in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. As a Yank, he probably had loads of Abercrombie & Fitch gear from all his holidays back Stateside. Loses points for cosying up to the Catholic Church, could have backed a cooler religion like Buddhism or… I dunno….voodoo.
2 – Albert Reynolds
Sharp dresser. Reynolds owned a discotheque that was the place to be for years, and he always wore the look of a man who couldn't wait to get all that gubbermint nonsense out of the way so he could head down the pub and lash out a few tunes.
1 – Charlie Haughey
It had to be, if only for the 'living beyond our means' speech said whilst wearing the finest French suits. You get the impression that Haughey was the kind of man who wore suspenders for his socks, and never wore trousers unless absolutely necessary.
