Heading for a pint this weekend? Read these.
It’s very likely that you’ll be relaxing this weekend with a drink or two, but if this is the case, these unwritten rules might come in handy.
1) Don’t skip a round
There’s a special place in hell that’s reserved for people that just ‘happen’ to be in the bathroom whenever it’s their turn to get a round in. Name and shame.
2) Don’t stink up the place
If you fart in an area that’s crowded with people, you’re a gremlin. Enough said.
3) Know your order
If there’s a queue to get your order, then you’ve no excuse for dilly-dallying when you finally get served. You’ve had 5-10 minutes to memorise the order and if you’re still unsure, it’s only right that you let the person behind you get served.
4) Play it cool
We’ve previously discussed the problems that only bartenders will understand, so try and make things easy for them. Don’t be that person that clicks their fingers or asks for a pint of Guinness at the end of your order.
5) The unwritten rules
There are various unwritten pub rules. For example:
1) never stand in front of the TV when there’s a game on.
2) When in a trad pub with a session going on, or one that’s about to start, don’t sit in the musicians seats/corner.
3) Don’t bother the auld lad in the corner.
Also, a beer mat that’s resting across the top of a pint means “gone to toilet/smoking area, I’ll be back”. We all knew these already, right?
6) Limits
It’s ok to be drunk, but it is not ok to be the drunkest person in the room.
7) The toilet dilemma
If there’s a queue to use the jacks then keep talking and dilly-dallying to a minimum.
In, out and done. That’s it.
There’s no need to waste time because it’s cruel on the people that are about to burst while they’re waiting for you to hurry up.
8) Chair and table etiquette
Always ask for permission if you plan to take a stool from someone else. The old head bob and point manouevre should do the trick.
Regarding big tables and seating areas, our general feeling on this is that big areas and tables are for groups of people. If you’re on your own, the most you should occupy is a table for two. Don’t hog a large space if the numbers in your party are small.
9) Stay off your phone
It’s ok to be on your phone if you’re waiting for your mates. It’s also acceptable if you need to check a football result or if you’re expecting some important news.
Any other reason should result in your mates relentlessly teasing you about being addicted to your smartphone.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
