"As You Slide Down the Bannister of Life, May the Splinters Never Point the Wrong Way…"
An exclusive sex party is taking place in a stately home in county Laois on 9 June.
The party is being held by Killing Kittens, a site which describes itself as a place where, "where gentlemen are gentlemen and women can be whatever they want."
They hold parties all over the world from New York to St Tropez Yachts, with obviously the next logical step being Laois.
The event will take place at a luxury estate in Laois, but the exact location won't be revealed until the day before.
The event promises "a night of debauchery as you party the night away with fellow Kittens and Toms."
On purchasing your ticket you’ll then receive an email 24hrs before the party with rules, regulations and the address.
Tickets for the event will cost you €130 per couple and €40 for single women, or if you want to stay the night, there's accommodation package available for €400 for couples... wink wink.
If you're going, the event states the need for smart evening wear, in particular "cocktail dress, suits, lingerie and masks."
