March 15th, 2014 will live long in my memory.
Before I begin, just know that this story has a happy ending and Ireland won the Six Nations, so it’s not all bad.
So what’s special about me? Nothing really, despite what my ma says!
Two things about me…
1) I’m a sport, music and film fanatic to the point that it’s scary, just like you.
2) I feel very lucky and privileged to currently have any job given the current economic climate in Ireland, let alone to be working with JOE.
That’s one of the happy endings.
I wasn’t always this fortunate on the job front though because like some Irish people, I was also unemployed, living on the dole and facing the very real fear of whether I would ever find work in Ireland.
The prospect of emigration constantly raised its head after a dream job at one of Dublin’s most beloved radio stations, Phantom 105.2, was no longer an option for me.
Here’s me shamelessly trying to pass myself off as someone who actually has a fecking clue what they’re doing at Knockanstockan Festival…
My last broadcast for the station was on this day a year ago as B’OD signed off from international duty with another Six Nations title under his arm.
The leaving date and bittersweet ending is probably the only similarity that I’ll ever have with rugby’s most gifted genius, I’m happy with that.
JOE’s slogan, “The Voice of Irish Men” is weighing on my mind right now as I currently put my fingertips to the keyboards and try to articulate my thoughts.
I know that my own story is just a drop in a bucket but I feel that it’s negligent to ignore the topic of unemployment.
I’m just lucky that I’ve this platform to do so, unlike other people who are in situations that are much worse than mine but didn’t have their voices heard.
Hopefully it’s a decent yarn because there’s rugby, great music and even better people involved.
Let’s start at the beginning…
Like all music loving Irish people, my education and passion had to be developed somewhere and for me it was Phantom FM.
I first stumbled across this ‘weird indie’ station as a teenager living in Dublin who was just hungry to hear some tunes that spoke to my musical tastes.
Without really trying, the place became more than just a station to me.
It was a church whose gospel I preached, a bastion of good music in a world of generic playlists or MTV Select, and the most important chapter in the book entitled, “For the Love of God: Please Teach Paul about Music”.
They seemed like the cool kids that knew everything but never showed off, I drank from their Kool-Aid and wished that I could join them.
I’d never have thought that I’d be bursting with pride on my last day of working there when I was dedicating this song to all of their staff members, past and present.
What did I do?
Having begged, stole and cheated my way towards a career in this thing called ‘meeja’ as a freelancer, I felt that I’d chance my arm and ask if there was anything that I could do at the station.
I was expecting to be laughed at, instead I was given a dream job.
I inherited the producer reigns on a wonderful sports show called ‘Stadium Rock’ that was presented by a man whose talent on-air is only surpassed by his decency as a bloke.
He’d kill me if I named him here so I’ll stay quiet for fear of a beating. He’s genuinely the nicest fella I’ve ever met.
The fact that I was getting paid for this work was secondary, this was more than just a job to me. It ticked all my boxes.
Even if I only spent six months there and on a freelance basis, I felt privileged and honoured to join the list of talent that worked here.
Hearing this tune played on my first show is something that I’ll remember forever.
So what happened?
All of the Phantom staff were informed that the station was re-branding on Valentine’s Day last year and that changes were going to be made.
It’s now known as TXFM and I wish them the best. There are some seriously talented people involved in that place and I wish them nothing but success.
So what does anyone do when they get news that their time is up? To the pub it is.
I remember sitting in a nearby bar, chatting and drinking with my friends as we tried to let the news sink in.
The atmosphere wasn’t helped by the fact that ‘The End’ by The Doors was playing in the pub along with ‘Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word’ by Elton John. We all couldn’t help but laugh at the depressing randomness of this iPod’s song selection.
At least I think it was this particular brand of melancholy that soundtracked the afternoon. The countdown was on as the last few weeks in my musical mecca ticked over in the most professional, dignified and quietly impressive manner that you could imagine.
These DJs, my friends, all deeply cared for the station and were clearly hurting but you would never have been able to tell from their shows.
It seemed like they had too much pride and passion in their work to ever let their standards slip despite the very real cloud of unemployment looming.
I felt like I had to match it or else I’d be letting them down. I gave it my best shot.
The last week and last show.
It’s a surreal experience hearing people that you listened to all your life say their very emotional goodbyes live on-air.
It made me reflect on some of the wonderful songs, albums, memories and moments that I experienced because of these DJs. I’d miss them terribly and they would probably never know how much.
The final week of broadcasting was the definition of bittersweet.
I remember listening to the final instalment of the brilliant Richie and Richie show and welling up whilst sipping on a cup of tea.
Not only are they great broadcasters and people, but having got to know them very well over the years, I was moved on a personal level. You would have to be made of stone not to feel for your friends during a difficult time like this.
This tune was played second from last and it broke me. It still does whenever I hear it.
So what about me?
All the talk in the build up to Saturday March 15, 2014 was on the events in Paris as Brian O’Driscoll looked to bow out of the international game with a Six Nations Championship under his arm.
If you’ve ever experienced a final day in any job then you’ll know exactly what I was feeling.
A strange mix of sadness, fear and pride washed over me. Any doubt or self-loathing instantly vanished though when I got a text message from one of the show’s creators that’s still saved and cherished in my phone.
It said, “Try to enjoy your last day. You made that production desk your own and I’m proud of you.” To me, this was my Six Nations title.
I inherited a perfect show and I somehow didn’t manage to feck it up. It meant the world to me.
Every Irish person was glued to the events in Paris that evening while I tried my very best to report on an epic yoyo match at the Stade de France.
The nervous, enthralling and rollercoaster narrative of the match seemed entirely fitting given it’s exactly how I felt in our studio.
Reporting on the moment when the final whistle blew on Ireland’s title winning Six Nations campaign of 2014 was one of my finest moments to date, for a multitude of reasons.
Warning: this clip does contain an overly emotional Irish man crying live on air to a bunch of strangers but do you know what? If given the chance again, I wouldn’t change a single thing.
When you feel down and out, that’s when you realise that some people are the very best. The very best. Trust me, there’s no such thing as empty words.
Richie’s Mam is gonna make one last appearance too. Much love to @ElChiefMoore producing for the last time. Great people, deserve better.
— Richie McCormåck (@RichieMcCormack) March 15, 2014
Shove your Sky Soccer Saturday up your hole @RichieRyanDJ doing last Stadium Rock on @phantom1052 for the last time — Darren Burbridge (@darrenburbridge) March 15, 2014
Ahh … It could only end one way. WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS. @phantom1052 – Class til the final whistle, lads.
— F ® € $ # (@INDIEandaJONEZ) March 15, 2014
Thanks @phantom1052 for always supporting us, best of luck with future endeavors — Richie Egan (@richiejape) March 15, 2014
Hard to believe its the last Stadium Rock on @phantom1052 -will miss the dulcet tones of the great @RichieRyanDJ a brilliant music man #sad
— Siobhán Keane (@KeaneSiobhan) March 15, 2014
We are the champions, @RichieRyanDJ @ElChiefMoore xx — Richie McCormåck (@RichieMcCormack) March 15, 2014
So what happened next?
Well, I stopped crying like a little girl with a skimmed knee for one! Like so many other Irish people, I had to brush up my C.V and meet recruiters in a bid to make enough money to keep a roof over my head and food in my fridge.
I remember signing on the dole for the first time and feeling slightly embarrassed about it, it was like I was admitting defeat or accepting blame that I wasn’t good enough to keep a job.
On reflection, I’d worked and paid taxes for the majority of my life so that money was mine but I still didn’t feel right about it. It was like I didn’t truly earn this money that was coming my way.
The process of ‘signing on’ constantly made me remember what it felt like as a teenager during that first day of secondary-school. Unsure, nervous, slightly out of your depth and needing guidance.
I was out of my comfort zone and it didn’t feel good.
Every Tuesday would come around and while I was queuing up with that yellow docket in my hand, I’d secretly make a vow to myself that this would be the last time that I’d sheepishly make conversation with the very nice clerk who handed me over the money that I needed to live on.
I probably would have given anything to be anywhere but here, preferably in gainful employment, just like the people in front and behind me in the queue.
It’s not an easy process to deal with and I’m sure that everyone knows someone that has been in a similar situation before.
I’m no different than anyone else that has been out of work but if you know someone in this situation then it’s never a bad idea to check in on them from time to time.
It’s a tough thing to go through because you’ve a lot of time with your thoughts and they’re not always positive.
Doubts, paranoia and self-loathing can creep in but it can also reveal the very best in the people around you.
I was reminded of the classic Irish film ‘The Van’ at times because some of my friends and family members really made an effort to rally around me.
It’s small things like going for a pint or a simple text message that makes a hell of a difference in this situation.
As I said, the story has a happy ending because I’m currently in a job that I love but things can always change.
I still find it very appropriate, fitting and moving that this was the last song that Phantom ever played. It fits.
The most popular image in Irish history for the day that was March 15th, 2014 was this one. Brian O’Driscoll lifting the Six Nations but for me…
…this one resonates deeper. Here’s the mic-guard that covered the microphone that I used to broadcast with.
This is the one and only thing that I took from Phantom 105.2, apart from memories and teachings during a formative period in my life.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
