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Life

05th Feb 2019

Zoo is looking to name a snake after your ex this Valentine’s Day

Paul Moore

Snakes

Notin’ but snakes in dis town, hun xx

If you’re the type of person that’s mature, chill, and easy going when it comes to your exes, all the power to you. You’re clearly a very balanced person that’s keeping their stuff well together. Keep her lit.

Then again, there are always people who’s dating history reads like a who’s who of human shit. To those people, we extend our sympathy.

Alas, each to their own and nobody is perfect.

Well, if you would compare your ex to a snake then this zoo in Australia has the perfect competition for you.

To coincide with Valentine’s Day, Sydney Zoo could be naming their latest slithery serpent after the person that once held your heart and crushed it into a million pieces.

To win this, erm, honour, all you have to do is tell them exactly what it was your ex did to deserve this accolade. Aside from this, you’ll need to make a $1 donation to the Wildlife Conservation Fund.

To all the cheaters, arseholes, liars, and scoundrels of the world, consider this a warning because your actions could be about to be immortalised.

Aside from this accolade, the lucky winner will also get a free one-year trip to the zoo.

If that doesn’t banish the memory of the snake that once plagued your life, we recommend a call to St. Patrick.

Best of luck!

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