The weekend has landed.
Friday, baby.
Movies, baby.
On TV, baby.
Adam Cole, bay-bay~!
Before we see how it looks on the box on Friday, 13 May, a quick-fire look at some of the most essential viewing options in front of you this weekend...
https://twitter.com/JOEdotie/status/1525124958887755779?s=20&t=aCUlzBpS33BjPb8DjpNQUg
And now, on with tonight's specific entertainment...
Commando – Film4 – 9pm
As highlighted above, Commando is indeed Arnie's most bonkers action movie. It might have his best collection of one-liners, too. A lean and very mean tale of one humble super-sized military specialist killer out to save his daughter – they genuinely don't make them like this anymore.
The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult – Comedy Central – 9pm
The third one.
Swordfish – Turner Classic Movies – 9pm
Ridiculous, obnoxious but not entirely worthless turn-of-the-century cyber-thriller with John Travolta, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry and Don Cheadle.
Pitch Perfect 2 – ITV2 – 9pm
The second one.
Little Fockers – E4 – 9pm.
I think this is the third entry in the 'Meet the Parents' series but honestly I can't be bothered looking it up as this thing never should have gone beyond one film.
Rocky V – ITV4 – 9pm
Seriously, what is it with ITV4 and constantly playing Rocky movies?
Five Card Stud – TG4 – 9.25pm
TG4 delivering in the 'Friday night Western' stakes yet again.
I Feel Pretty – RTÉ 2 – 10pm
Vile enough 'comedy' with Amy Schumer.
Killers – Virgin Media One – 10.05pm
Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl appear to have a perfect marriage, only for a True Lies-esque scenario to happen along. Disclaimer – this isn't as good as True Lies.
Terminator: Genisys – Film4 – 10.50pm
Rise of the Machines was never going to outdo Judgement Day. Salvation was a decent idea with a few interesting moments but overall something of a bust. Genisys, however? Yikes. This is basically the precise moment where the Terminator franchise became a complete waste of time – and lots and lots of money.
Baywatch – Channel 4 – 11.05pm
The Rock and Zac Efron pay tribute to the kitsch '90s TV show.
Zero Dark Thirty – Turner Classic Movies – 11.10pm
Jessica Chastain wrestles with the difficult realities of bringing down Osama Bin Laden in Kathryn Bigelow's excellent thriller-drama hybrid.
The Zookeeper's Wife – RTÉ One – 11.15pm
Jessica Chastain again, this time risking her life by helping to hide hundreds of Jews from the Nazis.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine – Film4 – 1.15am
One of the GREAT 'so bad it's worth watching out of pure morbid curiosity' movies. Just an astonishing mess. It's truly shocking that we eventually got Logan after this.
