The weekend has landed.
Friday, baby.
Movies, baby.
On TV, baby.
Adam Cole, bay-bay~!
Before we see how it looks on the box on Friday, 13 May, a quick-fire look at some of the most essential viewing options in front of you this weekend…
Classic action, hidden gem comedies and a brand new Netflix series! Here are your must-watch shows and movies at home this weekend! 🗣️: @roarEcashin pic.twitter.com/EYK9XTTM7K
— JOE.ie (@JOEdotie) May 13, 2022
And now, on with tonight’s specific entertainment…
Commando – Film4 – 9pm
As highlighted above, Commando is indeed Arnie’s most bonkers action movie. It might have his best collection of one-liners, too. A lean and very mean tale of one humble super-sized military specialist killer out to save his daughter – they genuinely don’t make them like this anymore.
The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult – Comedy Central – 9pm
The third one.
Swordfish – Turner Classic Movies – 9pm
Ridiculous, obnoxious but not entirely worthless turn-of-the-century cyber-thriller with John Travolta, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry and Don Cheadle.
Pitch Perfect 2 – ITV2 – 9pm
The second one.
Little Fockers – E4 – 9pm.
I think this is the third entry in the ‘Meet the Parents’ series but honestly I can’t be bothered looking it up as this thing never should have gone beyond one film.
Rocky V – ITV4 – 9pm
Seriously, what is it with ITV4 and constantly playing Rocky movies?
Five Card Stud – TG4 – 9.25pm
TG4 delivering in the ‘Friday night Western’ stakes yet again.
I Feel Pretty – RTÉ 2 – 10pm
Vile enough ‘comedy’ with Amy Schumer.
Killers – Virgin Media One – 10.05pm
Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl appear to have a perfect marriage, only for a True Lies-esque scenario to happen along. Disclaimer – this isn’t as good as True Lies.
Terminator: Genisys – Film4 – 10.50pm
Rise of the Machines was never going to outdo Judgement Day. Salvation was a decent idea with a few interesting moments but overall something of a bust. Genisys, however? Yikes. This is basically the precise moment where the Terminator franchise became a complete waste of time – and lots and lots of money.
Baywatch – Channel 4 – 11.05pm
The Rock and Zac Efron pay tribute to the kitsch ’90s TV show.
Zero Dark Thirty – Turner Classic Movies – 11.10pm
Jessica Chastain wrestles with the difficult realities of bringing down Osama Bin Laden in Kathryn Bigelow’s excellent thriller-drama hybrid.
The Zookeeper’s Wife – RTÉ One – 11.15pm
Jessica Chastain again, this time risking her life by helping to hide hundreds of Jews from the Nazis.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine – Film4 – 1.15am
One of the GREAT ‘so bad it’s worth watching out of pure morbid curiosity’ movies. Just an astonishing mess. It’s truly shocking that we eventually got Logan after this.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge