Yes, it is OUT THERE, but it is also INCREDIBLY fun.
There are loads of movies for you to check out this Friday evening, from 2023's most entertaining movie now available to stream at home (read all about
that here), to Netflix's latest batch of new additions (26 movies added to the library, check them
all out here). But as far as the movies on your telly goes, here are the best, the worst and the most in-between'y...
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - ITV4 - 6.50pm
Brendan Fraser's third outing fighting mummies, this time with Jet Li as the big undead bad guy. It is... not great, tbh.
Pitch Perfect 3 - FilmFour - 7.10pm
Another third movie in a series, another one that also isn't all that good.
We're The Millers - ITV2 - 9pm
Jennifer Aniston, Jason Sudekis, Will Poulter and Emma Roberts pretend to be a family in order to smuggle drugs across the American border. A decent raunchy comedy.
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back - FilmFour - 9pm
The first Tom Cruise-starring Jack Reacher was so good, but much like this title, he should never have gone back for this dull sequel.
Official Secrets - RTÉ One - 9.35pm
A very good war thriller, based on the true story of an intelligence specialist (Keira Knightley) who learns there are active plans to blackmail government agents in order to vote in favour of the Iraq invasion.
The Big Short - RTÉ2 - 10pm
Christian Bale, Brad Pitt, Steve Carrell, Ryan Gosling and loads more star in this high-energy retelling of the mid-00s housing market collapse.
Deadly Cuts - Virgin Media One - 10pm
This dark Irish comedy about a group of hairdressers who become accidental vigilantes has scored an impressive 94% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Welcome to the Jungle - Comedy Central - 10pm
Not the action comedy with The Rock, nor the Jumanji sequel of the same name, but a 2013 action comedy with Jean-Claude Van Damme and Adam Brody. We've never heard of it before, and the 22% score on RT might explain why.
Queen & Slim - BBC Three - 10.25pm
Daniel Kaluuya and Jodie Turner-Smith star in this romantic drama about a new couple who go out on a first date, but things take a turn when a police officer pulls them over for alleged dangerous driving.
Point Break - BBC One - 10.40pm
The 1991 original, with Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze, widely considered to be one of the best action movies of its day.
Ingrid Goes West - MTV - 11pm
A very good, very uncomfortable comedy about a young woman (Aubrey Plaza) who heads to LA with one goal in mind: become the new BFF of a particular social media influencer (Elizabeth Olsen).
Arnie on the surface of Mars (or is he...?) in Total Recall
Total Recall - ITV4 - 11.05pm
Our pick for the night is Total Recall, arguably Arnie's most bonkers movie, and without doubt one of his best. While over the course of his career, Arnie has fought everything from aliens to the devil, this sci-fi action classic does a brilliant job of planting him into the middle of an interplanetary mystery... which may or may not even be real.
From the visionary director behind Robocop, Basic Instinct and Starship Troopers, the movie also stars Sharon Stone, Michael Ironside and Ronny Cox, and features some of the best make-up special effects in cinema history. ("Quaid... start the reactor...")
Total Recall is also available to rent on Google Play, Apple TV and the Sky Store.
Sleepy Hollow - FilmFour - 11.20pm
One of the best team-ups between director Tim Burton and star Johnny Depp, with the latter playing a detective in 1799 trying to solve the mysterious case of the headless horseman.
The Thomas Crown Affair - RTÉ One - 11.40pm
The 1968 original with Steve McQueen as a rich thief and Faye Dunaway as the investigator sent to take him down. Not quite as sexy as the 1999 remake with Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo, but still a decent watch.
My Super Ex-Girlfriend - Channel 4 - 12.05am
Luke Wilson is the regular guy who discovers his recent ex (Uma Thurman) is actually a superhero, and she isn't taking the break-up super well. Has enough jokes for a five minute skit... but this movie is 95 minutes long, so...
The Elephant Man - Virgin Media Four - 1.15am
Director David Lynch's modern classic based on the true story of Joseph Merrick (here played by John Hurt), a severely deformed man in late 19th-century London.
The Ritual - FilmFour - 1.30am
A very good horror movie about four friends who head on a hiking holiday in Sweden together, only to encounter an ancient evil hiding in the forest.
Night School - Channel 4 - 1.40am
The pairing of Tiffany Haddish and Kevin Hart should've been A LOT funnier than this.
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