It's Monday.
Hey hey, it's Monday. August is almost at an end.
Movies, though? They never end. I mean, sure, a movie will end but the concept thereof? That's forever, baby!
Let's see what televisual options are available for YOU on Monday, 29 August...
Spider-Man 2 – ITV2 – 6.25pm
Hey, he stole that guy's pizza!
Instant Family – Film4 – 6.45pm
Mark Wahlberg and Rose Byrne do the family comedy thing.
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword – Turner Classic Movies – 9pm
Guy Ritchie's take on the legendary King Arthur was supposed to kick off a six-film series. Good luck with getting that back on track, mate.
Notting Hill – Sky Showcase – 9pm
Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts. You've seen it.
Rambo: First Blood – ITV4 – 9pm
That'll be the first one.
The Equalizer 2 – Film4 – 9pm
Denzel Washington returns in the only sequel he's ever made. It's alright.
Highlander – Legend – 9pm
There can be only one.
Black Panther – RTÉ 2 – 9pm
Chadwick Boseman takes charge as the iconic Marvel hero who must defend his throne from a most personal challenge.
Hugely successful with both punters and critics, Black Panther still boasts plenty of electricity, thanks to Michael B. Jordan's superb villain – arguably the best in all of the MCU to date – a killer soundtrack from Kendrick Lamar and, of course, a powerfully charismatic performance from the late Boseman.
Brad's Status – TG4 – 9.30pm
Under-seen comedy-drama in which Ben Stiller takes his son (not his real-life son) around colleges and ends up meeting with an old friend (not his real-life old friend) who makes him feel inferior about his life choices (surely not his real-life choices, the man's a respected movie star!).
Starter For 10 – BBC Two – 10pm
James McAvoy heads up a quiz team in the 1980s in this charming mid-2000s comedy.
Rambo: First Blood Part II – ITV4 – 10.55am
That'll be the second one.
The Bone Collector – Film4 – 11.20pm
Denzel again, this time teaming up with a young Angelina Jolie to solve a serial killer mystery.
2001: A Space Odyssey – Turner Classic Movies – 11.40pm
Our main pick tonight. Sure, it's on late. And it's very long. And you'd be really wired after watching it. And it's kind of scary. But it's absolutely perfect, so it is!
Stanley Kubrick's incredible sci-fi adventure finds a crew of astronauts on a dangerous mission as they seek to investigate a strange fixture that appears to be broadcasting a signal to another world.
Patient, slow, trippy, wildly influential – trust us, this one's unique.
Monos – Channel 4 – 1am
All the best films are on late tonight, it seems. This is a beautiful-looking tale of child soldiers. Record it, at least.
The Guilty – Film4 – 1.40am
Scandinavian drama that Jake Gyllenhaal remade for Netflix recently. This is much better than that.
