Power-ranking the House of the Dragon characters following THAT visit to the beach
Well... that was unexpected...
Hello and welcome (back) to our weekly power-ranking of the characters of the first season of House Of The Dragon.
Need a quick reminder on this 200-years-earlier prequel to Game Of Thrones? Click right here.
Each week, we'll be listing all of the major characters who have died - OUT! - as well as ranking them from the least likely to make it to the next episode, all the way up to who is the most likely to be ruling Westeros as we know it come the series' end.
So here we go, the power-ranking for the second episode of House Of The Dragon, titled Second of his Name...
OUT! - That one guy who gets stepped on by the dragon
Wow, that one guy had a very unfortunate final day. Not only was his ship attacked and taken over by the Crabfeeders, he was then dragged to the beach, had his hands nailed to some bits of wood and had the Crabfeeders leader literally start feeding him to the crabs. But then Prince Daemon rocked up to save the day with his dragon, and that one guy was overjoyed because he was about to be saved... only to get stepped on and killed by the dragon. We're sorry to see you go, that one guy.
OUT! - The Crabfeeders
We didn't expect this problem to be solved so quickly, but here we are. Well, it was quick for us, the viewers, but not so much for Lord Corlys and Prince Daemon, who have been fighting with the Crabfeeders for the last three years, and by all accounts, not doing super great.
And then, in one final swell, they're all dead. We assumed these would be this season's big baddies, and they're gone before we're even one-third of the way through. Farewell Crabfeeders, we barely knew ye, but ye looked kinda gross.
ELEVEN - King Viserys I Targaryen (Paddy Considine)
Yes, he's been at the bottom of the survivor's list pretty much since the first episode, and quite frankly we're surprised he's made it this long. No new bits of him appear to be falling off this week, which is a plus. But that blonde wig has been pushed back a few inches, the happiness of finally have a son countered by the stress of choosing between him and Rhaenyea as his heir. He ends up continuing to back his daughter, which is inevitably going to piss off... well... pretty much everyone.
TEN - The various Lords and Grand Maesters on the Council
Pretty much everyone has an opinion on who the Princess should marry, and they all come to the King with their ideas, which is only getting him more and more annoyed with them. If this were the OG Game of Thrones series, he probably would've had them all killed by now. But our current king is far too nice for that behaviour. Or at least he is right now...
NINE - Alicent Hightower (Emily Carey)
Following THAT birthing scene in the first episode, every pregnancy and new child has us on edge for the safety of the mother. Alicent has already delivered one son and is very close to delivering a second child for the King. Only for the fact that we know a new actress is yet to arrive to play an older version of Alicent, we'd say her days were incredibly numbered.
EIGHT - Ser Otto Hightower (Rhys Ifans)
As each episode passes, it becomes clearer and clearer that Otto is to House of the Dragon what Littlefinger was to Game of Thrones. Of course we knew he was up to no good the second he started pimping out his daughter to the King, but every new interaction displays new levels of desperation in a man quietly seething that he hasn't been given enough power.
SEVEN - Lord Corlys Velaryon (Steve Toussaint)
Turns out he isn't the incredible warrior leader we all suspected him to be. In the final pitched battle against the Crabfeeders, he was outshone by both Prince Daemon and his own son Laenor. If it weren't for them, we feel Corlys might've lost entirely. Not a good look, tbh.
SIX - Laenor Velaryon (John Macmillan)
A new arrival, leaving an immediate impression. Some of the various Lords and Grand Maesters have suggested he would be a good match to marry Princess Rhaenyra, and then he rocked up on his dragon Seasmoke, helping to completely decimate the Crabfeeder army. So he's basically succeeding in every way his own father has been failing. Take that, Dad!
FIVE - Mysaria (Sonoya Mizuno)
She wasn't in this episode, which is always good news if you want to survive another week.
FOUR - Princess Rhaenys Targaryen (Eve Best)
THREE - Ser Criston Cole (Fabien Frankel)
He spent most of the episode chasing down Princess Rhaenyra, then killing a big pig that tried to gore her, then they shared a long look at a big white deer. It was all very romantic and we're kind of shocked they didn't have a smooch in this episode.
Maybe that is coming further down the line, but he's definitely going to be a big part of the Princess' life going forward, in one way or another.
TWO - Prince Daemon Targaryen (Matt Smith)
All it took for Daemon to go all-out and unleash the beast was the threat of help by his brother the King, and it turns out Daemon would rather die than have to be saved. With the help of Lord Corlys' son Laenor on dragon-back, Daemon literally ripped the leader of the Crabfeeders in two, so he will soon be returning to the Kingdom as a big hero.
And, let us not forget, as a proven warrior he will look even more impressive compared to his ailing, child-obsessed brother, as well as the unfortunately-female-named heir. Quite how Daemon plans to use this new position of power remains to be seen, but he won't be going anywhere for a while.
ONE - Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen (Milly Alcock)
First things first, can we all agree that Milly Alcock is absolutely KILLING it this season as the vital Rhaenyra? What an incredible performance, carrying the emotional weight of so much of this series. It helps that her character is so damned layered and interesting, especially so this week, as after three years of worry, her father re-confirms that she is still his named heir to take over the throne.
Should we believe him? Will he change his mind once his son gets a bit older? Or will the people of the kingdom simply not accept a female leader at all? Rhaenyra won't suffer fools gladly, but she also can't defend herself from every threat, from every angle, at all times.
But then she did finish off that boar herself, while letting the regal white stag go free. She is awesome and we only want good things for her!
House of the Dragon: Episode Four - titled King of the Narrow Sea - will be available to watch on NOW and Sky from Monday, 12 September.