The fifth series of Love/Hate draws to a close on Sunday evening, so we’ve come up with some scenarios – some ridiculous, some less so – for the final scenes.
Could it all have been Nigel’s bad dream?
Patrick and Fran team up…
We’re calling this one the most likely scenario.
Patrick and Fran already formed something of an alliance when everyone’s favourite bomb-maker landed Nidge in it, big style, with the Linda revelation.
There’s respect there and you absolutely would not want to f**k with either of them, so we can see Fran and Patrick – Fratrick, anyone? No? – coming up with a plan to do away with Nidge for good, proving Terence right and making a potential sixth series a free-for-all in the grab for power.
No matter what happens, we’ll be glued to it…
Likelihood out of 10? 7
= = =
Siobhán goes commando…
Now now. Settle down. Settle down. Not that kind of commando.
No, we reckon Siobhán will go ‘full Nikita’ after dealing with Pauley, spend some time in the Himalayan foothills, learn some martial arts and eat Terence for breakfast before the ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN with the Nidge weasel.
They could even make a live event of it, sell out the 3Arena, maybe get Conor McGregor on the undercard… we’ve had too much coffee.
Likelihood out of 10? 2
= = =
Tommy gets his revenge…
You can just sense it, can’t you? We would love it, just love it (Kevin Keegan-style) if Tommy were to recover and be the one to knock King Nidge off his throne.
We’ve been waiting for him to wake properly from his coma for the entire series and now that we know he’s pulling through we’re expecting big things from the big man.
Frankly, we hope it’s a Godfather-style Michael v Fredo confrontation where Tommy comes out of the shadows to become the real kingpin – Fran as his right-hand man – and Nidge ends up getting fed to the dogs.
Quality television.
How about, in an added twist, Tommy dumps Siobhán’s cheating backside and hooks up with Trish?
Get it done, Stuart Carolan.
Likelihood out of 10? 4
= = =
It was all Nidge’s dream…
Nidge emerges from a deep, long sleep in his Dalkey townhouse.
Nigel walks downstairs where his wife Patricia is making him a brunch of scrambled eggs, avocado and rustic bread. He speaks in a posh Dublin accent and tells Patricia, “I had, loike, the weirdest focking dream that I was living on the NORTH SIDE and…”
Patricia interrupts: “Oh dear God. How frightful, luvvie…”
The doorbell rings and there’s Eric in his Leinster jersey.
“I’ve a couple of tables reserved in Kiely’s, hurry up to fock, this match is going to be EPIC!”
And the screen fades to black.
Likelihood out of 10? -47
= = =
Some extra notes from the lads in the office. Never let it be said we weren’t a democratic bunch…
1) Terence revealed to actually be a woman, so no balls at all.
2) Siobhan becomes an expert in brain injury after Tommy/Paulie-Deano experiences.
3) Patrick wins the Nobel Prize for peaceful pipebomb making.
4) Crystal Swing play a gig at the boozer and Scotty hooks up with the Ma. Nadine goes mad.
5) And our absolute favourite – Health and Safety shut the brothel due to repeated knee injuries.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
