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Movies & TV

05th Aug 2016

If Suicide Squad was full of kickass Irish stars, this is what it’d look like…

Eric Lalor

Suicide Squad is coming…

It’s safe to say everyone is very excited about the new Suicide Squad movie, featuring a real motley crew of anti-heroes and deadbeat criminals with extraordinary powers.

Suicide Squad group pic

They’re all bad to the bone, but we’ve a feeling we’re going to fall in love with them anyway.

Ahead of the film’s release in Ireland on 5 August, we decided to have a look at the Suicide Squad to see what it would be like if it was made up of a crack team of Irish people instead.

Sure don’t they already have the green poster down to a tee…

Suicide Squad main image 5

Killer Croc (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje)

He’s huge with brute strength and possesses an ability to grab anything out of the air. Only one person for the job so, and that is Paul O’Connell.

Killer POC, anyone?

poccroc

El Diablo (Jay Hernandez)

A very fiery character with a penchant for pyrotechnics, there’s never a dull moment when this character is around.

There can be only one Irish person suited to this role due to his explosiveness, his fiery nature and his sheer bloody-mindedness and that is James McClean.

diablomcclean

Enchantress (Cara Delevingne)

A very powerful female character, she’s someone who can heal, teleport and has all the powers of a mystical sorceress.

There’s only woman on this island who possesses such mystical and elusive charms and that woman goes by the name of Enya.

enyachant

Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie)

Harely used to date The Joker so she’s a proper badass. She’s also very strong, agile and is immune to toxins.

We couldn’t think of anyone appropriate so we felt purely for the surname alone, we’d go with giant football man Niall Quinn.

Plus, he looks great in sparkly hotpants.

margotquinn

Deadshot (Will Smith)

An extremely gifted marksman with an unerring eye for accuracy.

The one person who jumped to our attention because he hits all those marks? Why it has to be  our international goalscoring record holder, Robbie Keane.

deadkeane

Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman)

Rick doesn’t possess any superpowers, but what he does possess is an incredible talent for all things military.

That’s right, he’s a flippin’ great soldier and not to be messed with!

Step forward Olympic gold medalist Michael Carruth, who was not only a brilliant boxer, but an esteemed soldier in the Irish army.

flagruth

Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney)

This character is extremely fast and it’s no surprise that he is related to The Flash. However, we ask you to think about this – what is a boomerang?

It’s something that leaves and then comes back.

Get yourself togged out there, Roy Keane.

flagroy

Katana (Karen Fukuhara)

Katana is a trained samurai and is adept at taking you out in no time at all. She’s been a vigilante in the past and although ruthless when it comes to business, you know her heart is in the right place.

This is a role for Bray’s finest, Katie Taylor.

samuraikatie

Slipknot (Adam Beach)

This character is ropey.

OK, he’s into ropes.

They’re definitely his thing whether it be climbing with them or strangling enemies.

We’d imagine he’d be quite good at escaping being tied up and, for that reason alone, we are choosing magic man, Keith Barry.

ropekeith

And here’s the kickass trailer to get you in the mood. Unfortunately there’s no sign of Robbie Keane, Katie Taylor or Niall Quinn in those sparkly hotpants…

Clip via Warner Bros. UK

Suicide Squad, 15A, maniacally blasts its way into Irish cinemas on 5 August

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