Jameson Cult Film Club: JOE’s Favourite Movie Aliens
“GET TO THE CHOPPA”… and to the upcoming Jameson Cult Film Club screening of Predator.
Due to unprecedented demand, the Jameson Cult Film Club is returning to Dublin for a special 25th anniversary screening of the 1987 classic, Predator. Continuing on from this year’s successful screenings of Die Hard, Intermission and LA Confidential, the Jameson Cult Film Club promises to transport the audience right into the world of this high suspense, sci-fi thriller at a secret Dublin location on Tuesday 19th November 2013.
Directed by action supremo John McTiernan and starring the man-mountain that is Arnold Schwarzenegger, Predator tells the story of an elite special forces team, led by ‘Dutch’ (Schwarzenegger), on a dangerous mission to rescue hostages from guerrilla territory in Central America. Unbeknownst to the group, they are being stalked and hunted by a technologically advanced form of extraterrestrial life, the Predator.
Or, as it’s affectionately known in JOE Towers, Big-Scary-Bob-Marley-Vagina-Face.
To celebrate the upcoming screening, JOE has decided to take a look at some of our favourite movie aliens to ever travel from deep space and straight on to the silver screen. Apologies to all of those who didn’t make it on to the list including the District 9 Prawns, the creepy talking worms from Men In Black and everyone’s favourite alien who reminds them of their Granny, Jedi Master Yoda.
Annoyed that we haven’t included him he will be...
Fear not though fans of the Force, Star Wars is ably represented as we kick off our list of JOE’s Favourite Movie Aliens.
Altogether now, everyone try their inevitably woeful best Chewbacca impression... “ARRRGGFFHHRRHGFFHRRRAAARR”
Han Solo’s right-hand Wookie and (literal) partner in crime is undoubtedly the most loveable walking carpet that comes from a galaxy far, far away...
Inspired by Indiana, George Lucas’ shotgun-riding pet dog, Chewie, who was played by 7’3 tall Peter Mayhew, is one of the greatest side-kicks in movie history, one heck of a Millennium Falcon co-pilot, and is also one of the most superdeeduper space smugglers this side of the dual suns of Tatooine.
Just make sure you don’t beat him in a game of space chess though. He really doesn’t like it when that happens. Just follow C-3PO’s advice and “let the Wookie win”
Even the description of the titular Alien from the Alien films is terrifying: “a Xenomorph that is an endoparasitoid extraterrestrial species.”
WHAT DO ALL THE BIG NASTY WORDS MEAN!?
First introduced in Ridley Scott’s 1979 iconic horror classic, the Alien’s fantastically frightening form was designed by the Oscar-winning artist H. R. Giger, and deliberately evokes many male and female sexual images, illustrating the creature’s blurring of human sexual dichotomy.
Or, in lay man’s terms, completely and utterly ploop-your-pants petrifying.
Here’s a brilliant Alien montage followed by one of the all-time scariest onscreen moments:
JOE has to head off now, we’ve got a bit of a tummy bug...
Proof that not all movie aliens wanted to impregnate you with their spawn/skin your body and hang you upside down from a jungle tree, Steven Spielberg’s E.T. is The Quiet Man-watching, beer-swilling, finger-glowing extraterrestrial that JOE wanted to be our best friend when we were growing up.
In fact, we still want him to be our best friend so, if you’re listening E.T., and we’re pretty sure you are, please come back.
The film itself is one of the greatest movies of all time and it’s charming, friendly, alien hero is one of the main reasons that the film has endured so brilliantly for over 40 years.
The wee basta*rd will cost you an absolute fortune in phone bills though:
And bear with us now as JOE fights back some manly man tears for a moment (shout out to John Williams for making us bawl):
This one’s for you Nic Cage (he reads all of the JOE articles you see).
No list of our favourite movie aliens would be complete without Kal-El, the Man of Steel, the Last Son of Krypton, the Metropolis Marvel, Clark Kent AKA Superman... so that’s why we included him.
Originally appearing as part of the DC Comic series back in 1938, Superman flew onto our big screens in Richard Donner’s 1978 classic, portrayed perfectly by Christopher Reeve.
He has since appeared in various forms, some great (Dean Cain on the small screen obviously) and some not so great (Brandon 'me look like Superman so me must be Superman' Routh), but one constant remains – Kal-El is the reason that JOE still wears our red underpants outside our trousers.
And for anyone who thinks that Superman’s disguise as Clark Kent is one of the worst, most obvious, see-through disguises of all time, then they only have to look at Christopher Reeve’s incredible performance as the awesome alien to be convinced otherwise:
That’s right, sexy aliens. All of them.
So a big shout out to Celeste Martin (Kim Basinger, My Stepmother Is An Alien)
Sil (Natasha Henstridge, Species)
Leeloominaï Lekatariba Lamina-Tchaï Ekbat De Sebat AKA Leeloo (Milla Jovovich, The Fifth Element)
And last, and the exact opposite of least, there’s Mary the Three Breasted Prostitute (Lycia Naff, Total Recall)
So there you have it film fans, JOE's favourite movie aliens inspired by Predator.
Soon the hunt for green blood will begin. Grab your camouflage gear and report to Major Dutch and the rest of the elite Special Forces squad for the covert rescue mission deep in the Central American Jungle; register for free tickets now on www.jamesoncultfilmclub.ie. The exact location is only revealed to successful squad members, so register your interest early.
These free events are more than just your typical screening, as characters from the movie, live theatre and special effects timed perfectly with on-screen action help to create an electric atmosphere throughout the movie.
*Warning* - the Predator blends in with its surroundings, taking trophies from the bodies of its victims as it goes along. So, prepare for a foot chase through the dense jungle as the venue will be completely transformed into a series of sets from the film.
DJ Aidan Kelly will be spinning the sounds from the film before and after the screening while guests will be treated to ‘Jungle’ burgers and refreshing Jameson, Ginger and Lime long drinks.