JOE’s Succession Power Rankings: America Decides

Simon Kelly

Stop the count.

Here we are, folks. Election night. In this week’s episode, the Succession Power Rankings are shaken to their very core as a new incumbent heads straight to first place.

While America decides, the Roys divide as Shiv, Roman and Kendall butt heads on their political leanings and the power they hold over their country weighs heavy on (most of) their shoulders. Let’s take a look at the rankings after another BIG episode of Succession.

9. America’s crumbling democracy

This episode cut a little too close to the bone.

8. Tom

Despite his good arches, it was another bad week for Wambsgans. Considering the absolute misery of last week’s episode, Tom is now heading into rock bottom’s murky underworld and having a little swim around.

Living on a diet of cocaine and bodega sushi, the ATN head once again faces off with Shiv, where she finally reveals she’s having his child. The immediate reaction to ask whether she was telling truth or if it’s all just another power play goes to show how messed up the guy’s head is right now.

On top of that, he’s smack bang in the middle of the ATN dart board after they prematurely called the election in Mencken’s favour and now a lot of very important people want to scream at him.

7. Shiv

Following closely behind her baby-daddy, Shiv is having an equally shitty week. Her secret backscratching relationship with Matsson has been uncovered and she’s also caught herself in her own trap by lying to her brother about calling Nate. Shiv’s week is equivalent to Sideshow Bob stepping on rakes.

She even had the time to get screwed over by Greg of all people. While trying to put him in his place, he immediately rats her out to Kendall over the Matsson ordeal.

As it turns out, caring for your fellow countrymen and the state of national democracy gets you nowhere when you’re the CEO of a mega-corporation, which is bad news for Shiv.

6. Matsson

While he was the star of the show last week, Matsson is once again reduced to some phone calls from whatever hotel room he’s currently wallowing in in this week’s episode.

His only in with the Roys – through Shiv – is now in danger and with Mencken promising to fudge GoJo’s deal with Waystar, the Swede may have more things to worry about than some dodgy subscription numbers and the postage cost of iced blood blocks.

5. Greg

Once again sitting in the middle of the rankings is the Egg himself. Looking a bit worse for wear after visiting some “unseemly venues” with Matsson the night before and “drinking things that aren’t normally drinks”, Greg still manages to become an important cog in the ATN machine and, ultimately, American history this week.

Despite being demoted back down to Gregging for Tom and getting wasabi and lemon-flavoured seltzer in Darwin’s eyes, the Roy cousin gets one over on Shiv by ratting her out to Kendall after she threatens a rearrangement of his internal organs.

He also delivers the message of Mencken’s presidential win to the ATN newsroom, setting history in motion. That’s what you get when you’re always just part of the conversation. You know, as a normalist.

4. Kendall

Looking out over New York as the world burns below him like Sauron in an expensive suit, Kendall is walking on thin ice near the top this week.

Yes, his team won, but at what cost? His relationship with both his siblings is at near breaking point. His trust in Shiv is lost after finding out about her betrayal and the threat he feels from Roman’s relationship with Mencken is souring the CE Bro’s solid teamwork.

Also, despite trying to appease his daughter by not getting in the way of democracy, he goes ahead and does that anyway. So no, Kendall, you’re not a great father – at least own it like Logan did.

3. Connor

Alas, Kentucky.

Maybe everyone voted for him, maybe not (definitely not), Connor is this week’s Schrodinger’s tax-hating cat. Doing a complete U-turn on his moral stance from the night before, Connor is back-peddling to try and get another cushy ambassadorial job.

And it works! He’s managed to get Slovenia (he’s not saying no to the Slo now). Vienna for lunch and Venice for dinner? Sounds like the perfect spot for Connor and Willa to get away from all this madness.

Thank you, Conheads, we couldn’t have done it without you.

2. Roman

Roman has gone fully authoritarian this week in order to get Mencken over the line as president and protect Waystar’s interests. He can be seen shouting “false flag!” in various rooms around the ATN office building as he fully commits to the his ruthless CEO role.

Trying to once again summon the ghost of his father by constantly asking himself “what would daddy do?” in every situation, Romulus has got victory in his sights and won’t let anyone – blood-related or not – get in his way. Democracy doesn’t matter because “we just made a night of good TV”, right?

God, this week’s episode is not a good look for Roman. But he’s got a direct line to the president’s office now, he just needs to keep it light on the dick pics.

1. Jeryd Mencken

Another newcomer to the Succession power rankings this season has sailed all the way to the top. All it took were a couple thousand destroyed ballots and the keys to the White House and Mencken is top dog this week, in more ways than one.

It seems that Roman, Kendall and, unwillingly, Shiv are putting their company in the hands of one extremely slimy individual and we have no doubt that it’s going to blow up in their faces. But, he’s given his word he’ll block the GoJo deal and politicians are famously good at keeping promises, right?

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