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12th Sep 2013

JOE’s Top Five Action Film Villains…

Bad guys have all the fun. Until they're killed by the good guys that is...

Eoghan Doherty

JOE has already brought you some of our favourite ever Action Movie heroes to mark next week’s Jameson Cult Film Club screenings of Die Hard, and now it’s the turn of some of our favourite ever Action Movie villains.

The bad guys have all the fun. Until they’re killed by the good guys that is.

But before they inevitably get to lose, the villain has to prove themselves to be smart, ruthless, powerful and psychotically funny – that’s what makes them so great. The rules don’t apply.

So check out our list of favourite Action Movie villains below which features all manner of iconic evildoers including cat-strokers, human-haters and one ex-world leader who, ahmm, likes to sing…

It’s all to celebrate the return of the Jameson Cult Film Club as they put on their biggest and most action-packed double screening to date. Continuing on from this year’s successful screenings of Intermission and LA Confidential, the Jameson Cult Film Club promises to transport the audience right into the world of the high suspense action classic, Die Hard (1988), which will be screened at a secret Dublin location on Tuesday 17th and Wednesday 18th September 2013.

willis

Now, due to this list focusing on Action Movie villains in particular, we didn’t include evil ba*tards like Darth Vader, Hannibal Lecter and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’s Child Catcher but, whatever you do, make sure you don’t tell them that because we’re still absolutely terrified of them.

The guys on our Action Movie list just really like to blow sh*t up, all while killing as many people as they possibly can along the way.

hans

Hans Gruber

No silly, of course we don’t mean Hans Gruber the Austro-Canadian symphony orchestra conductor. We’re talking about the evil, bearded bastard portrayed by the excellent Alan Rickman in Die Hard.

As Snape himself would say, “obv…iously.”

In saying that, the German mastermind and terrorist leader was actually a fan of Beethoven AND bombs so maybe, if pesky Detective John McClane hadn’t had his way, Herr Gruber would have retired from international terrorism and would still be listening to RTÉ Lyric FM to this day.

Here he is getting all riled up by “pain-in-the-ass” McClane:

The Terminator

We know, we know. The Terminator also featured on our favourite ever Action Movie heroes list too but, as everyone knows, the great thing about having a futuristic cyborg programmable bodyguard is that said bodyguard can also be turned into a futuristic cyborg programmable assassin, all with the flick of a switch.

Well, it’s probably more complicated than just flicking a switch but this JOE ain’t no Skynet scientist.

Here’s big Arnie Schwarzenegger as the titular T-800 in James Cameron’s 1984 classic, The Terminator:

Agent Smith

The human-hating, AI computer program that is Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving) typified the evil nature of The Matrix and proved to be particularly problematic for our hero Neo (Keanu ‘Woah’ Reeves).

We just really loved the way he said “Mr Annnderrrrsonnnnnnn.”

Here is one of the finest Neo vs. Agent Smith fights in the entire Matrix series – the Underground face off from The Matrix (1999):

Blofeld

How much did they rip off Dr. Evil from the Austin Powers films!? Ernst Stavro Blofeld – James Bond baddie and SPECTRE supervillain supremo – to this day remains one of the most memorable nemeses that 007 ever faced. Bald, scarred and usually dressed like Mr Trololo, Blofeld AKA Number 1, was at his most villainous (and comfortable) when sitting in his swivel chair and, ahem, stroking a pussy.

Aren’t we all.

Here he is introducing himself to Bond for the very first time in the 1967 film, You Only Live Twice:

Kim Jong-Il

And last, but most certainly not least, is our (if we’re North Korean that is) esteemed and all-powerful ex-leader, Kim Jong-Il.

In puppet form.

The nasty, bespectacled villain of Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s brilliantly funny Team America, Jong-Il, although incredibly wicked most of the time, did have his redeeming features too.

Well, redeeming feature. He liked to reveal his inner-most thoughts through the medium of hilarious song:

So if you don’t want to be as ‘ronery’ as Kim Jong-Il next week, then just register for tickets for the Jameson Cult Film Club Die Hard screening here so you can spend your action-packed evening with other amazing like-minded die hard Die Hard fans.

die hard

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