And the most emotional one, too...
The midweek bump / slump / hump has arrived.
Only one thing for it, dear reader. A bunch of movies.
Here's the most interesting cinematic options on the box this evening (Wednesday 8 September)...
Little Women – Film 4 – 6.35pm
Not the recent version with Saoirse Ronan and Florence Pugh but rather the 1994 adaptation of Louisa May Alcott's celebrated novel in which the March sisters come of age against the backdrop of the American Civil War.
Winona Ryder, Kirsten Dunst, Claire Danes and Trini Alvarado make up the little women in question.
Murder on the Orient Express – Film 4 – 9pm
Kenneth Branagh directs and stars in the 2017 edition of the famous Hercule Poirot murder mystery as the charismatic detective sets about solving a most foul crime.
A star-studded cast is along for company, with the likes of Penélope Cruz, Willem Dafoe, Judi Dench, Daisy Ridley, Johnny Depp, Olivia Colman and Michelle Pfeiffer making their presence felt.
The Fugitive – TCM – 9pm
Harrison Ford insists that he didn't kill his wife.
Tommy Lee Jones assures him that he does not care.
10 points if you can name the sequel without looking it up.
Die Another Day – ITV4 – 9pm
Pierce Brosnan takes the Bond franchise to absolutely bizarre new heights on his way out.
Fast and Furious 7 – Sky Showcase – 10.30pm
The best film in the Fast and Furious franchise is Fast Five.
Let's just get that out of the way. Fast and Furious 7 – or just Furious 7 if you prefer – runs it a close second. This is, of course, the one where Paul Walker exists the series for tragic real-life reasons.
Whatever your overall feelings on F9 – described, accurately, as
a $200 million Itchy & Scratchy cartoon by our own Rory Cashin – it's fair to say that the Fast franchise desperately misses Walker. At least his final appearance comes in the form of a rollercoaster adventure, one that leaves a devastating emotional punch by the end.
I Am Not a Witch – Film 4 – 11.15pm
The BAFTA-winning I Am Not a Witch takes place in a rural Zambian village where a quiet, insular girl is accused of witchcraft. Satirical drama follows.
Unforgiven – TCM – 11.45pm
A brutal, unflinching, poetic western in which Clint Eastwood (who also directs) returns to a life of violence only to be met with deadly consequences. Gene Hackman, Morgan Freeman and Richard Harris provide superb support.
8 Mile – ITV4 – 11.45pm
In yet another example of 'a film that a lot of people would probably watch if it was on two hours earlier', Eminem shines in Curtis Hanson's raw telling of the rapper's upbringing.
