Ranking the characters of Modern Family from worst to best
You might disagree. And you'd be wrong.
There is a theory about Friends characters that whomever is your least favourite is also the one you are the most like. We're not sure how we feel about that, and we're hoping that the following list doesn't expose who we are too much...
Anyways, off the back of the news that Modern Family will be making it's eleventh season the final one for the show, we decided to look back over the series, and discuss the characters.
We're only sticking to the primary family members, because if we were to include everyone, then (A) We'd be here all day, and (B) Pepper Saltzman - played by Nathan Lane - would win it hands down.
Now, on with the rankings!
12. JOE PRITCHETT
The newest member of the show is also the worst. Is it mean to pick on a kid that young? We don't care. Remember that episode that he spent the entire thing hitting on his sister/half-sister/aunt Claire? That little weirdo deserves to stay down the end of this list forever for that reason alone.
11. MANNY DELGADO
A lady's man who loves fancy coffee and fancier hats. If anything, he just got more and more annoying as the show went on. Arty and pretentious can be hilarious if it is done right (see: Pepper Saltzman), but here it is just irritating. Also, he previously shared his half-brother's lust for family members when he developed a crush on Hayley. What is it with these kids and incest??
10. LILLY TUCKER-PRITCHETT
Didn't Lilly used to have a crush on Manny?? (shakes head) Anyways, Lilly grew up into a deliverer of some fairly acidic one-liners to her two dads, but we're having a tough time remembering Lilly having a single interesting storyline through any of the ten seasons so far. The best Lilly-centric episode was when she was hired to be on an advert for couches, only to discover she was to be voiced as a heavily-racist survivor of a Godzilla attack.
9. ALEX DUNPHY
Alex Dunphy is the Lisa Simpson of Modern Family. Enough said.
8. MITCHELL PRITCHETT
Mitchell is probably the person you'd least want to spend any significant amount of time with. His overly-nervous energy and passive-aggressive mentality just don't seem like a lot of fun to be around.
7. LUKE DUNPHY
For the first few seasons, Luke was just kind of annoying. The writers of the show nailed the whole "Difficult Baby Brother" a little too well. It wasn't until Luke hit his teens and really leaned into being the most basic of bros, complete with bad self-hygiene and doing whatever was necessary to get a girl to go out with him, that he really started to shine. Don't get us wrong, he's still a douchebag, but at least he's a douchebag that knows he's a douchebag.
6. JAY PRITCHETT
The founder and former boss of Pritchett's Closets & Blinds, some of the best episodes of the show revolve around Jay's bizarre fascination with large clothing storage units. His long-running feud with Closets! Closets! Closets! Closets!, or the time he tried to time he tried to film a new advert for his company ("Closet? You'll love it!"). But he kind of went on to become latter-season Chandler, his funnier, harder edges sanded down by, bluegh, learning how to be nicer. BLEUGH.
5. HALEY DUNPHY
Haley gets some of the best burns in the show ("Your outfit is perfect. If you're applying to lumberjack school. And majoring in having your cats eat you when you die."), to the point that most of the grown ups are kind of afraid that she'll turn on them. Which, when paired with her obvious ability to handle most modern problems with aplomb, is why it is so confusing why the show keeps treating her like a big dumdum.
4. GLORIA DELGADO-PRITCHETT
If this was back in an earlier season, Gloria would have a strong claim to the top spot. Over the length of the series though, the jokes that her character is based on - She is Colombian! She shouts a lot! She may or may not have killed someone earlier in her life! - began to get a little repetitive. Despite that, when Gloria completely losses her mind (usually at Jay), and rattles off her anger in rapid-speed Spanglish, it is still very, very funny.
3. CAMERON TUCKER
When Cameron begins to panic and lets loose a scream, it is never not funny. Usually he hits that dog-deafening screeches when he's misplaced his own daughter ("LILLAAAAAAY!"), but he is also a total drama-queen who claims to not understand why drama follows him everywhere he goes. He is also a brilliant depiction of an LGBTQ+ character on mainstream television, from loving his rough and ready farm-based childhood, but also known to break into song and dance when the situation calls for it. Or, usually, absolutely doesn't call for it.
2. CLAIRE DUNPHY
Nobody does exasperated quite like Claire. Having essentially married a man-sized toddler, she successfully keeps the plates spinning, even when she takes on the Closets company once Jay steps down. She could stand to be a little nicer to Phil, but to be fair, she is exceptionally out of his league. She also has a big love for taking Halloween a little TOO seriously. Oh, and taking Valentine's Day a little TOO seriously. It is probably best to say that whatever Claire does, she goes all in on it! And that is why we love her.
1. PHIL DUNPHY
As if it could possibly be anyone else. His blind optimism, the unique way he answers the phone ("What does love start with? L-O."), an odd fascination with both magic and gymnastics, and enough Dad jokes to take down an elephant ("Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt. Act until you're Willam Hurt."), paired with the love he's got for his wife and kids makes him a big Labrador of a man. If hugs could personified, it would be Phil Dunphy.