We are now just over a month away from Episode IX. Here’s how the new Star Wars movie can wrap things up perfectly.
Right. Let’s get this out of the way quickly. The Last Jedi was bad. It sucked.
It undid a lot of the work that The Force Awakens did back in 2015, and basically made that movie seem like a total waste of time (despite being one of the entire franchise).
That being said, it’s not too late to make this trilogy a success. They have created a number of characters that we care about, there is a compelling villain, a lovable gang of underdogs to fight the bad guy, and it has even opened the door for some incredible returns.
But how can JJ Abrams and co ensure The Rise of Skywalker is as good as possible? Here’s how:
Finn + Po, please
The Force Awakens really teased a bit of a romance between these two characters, and at the very least, a really strong bromance.
But The Last Jedi did those two no favours, keeping them separated for the whole thing. That being said, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and we would LOVE to see the two get together once more, be it as buddies or as something more.
Look into your heart JJ, you know it to be true.
He bites his bloody lip, right after saying “keep my jacket, it looks better on you”. They were flirting!
Kylo has to stay bad
Kylo Ren simply can not turn over to the good side. He’s a bad guy. He has to stay bad.
It would be a really disappointing ending if all of the bad stuff he had done in the previous two movies went to waste, and they all lived happily ever after.
We have been given a really strong, really powerful bad guy, being played by a brilliant actor. Don’t waste him. Make him even worse.
Have him kill a fan-favourite like Finn, Leia or Po, and make the audience really despise him. Then when the good guys win, it feels all the more satisfying.
Bring back Maz Kanata
SHE WAS CLASS.
This is the main problem with The Last Jedi summed up. Kanata was one of the best characters in TFA, and how much screen time did she get in TLJ? 45 seconds. MISERABLE.
So many cool plots were set up by JJ Abrams in the first movie, only to be thrown out the window by Rian Johnson. With JJ at the helm once more, here’s hoping we see a bit more of the characters he developed.
Tell us exactly how the hell Emperor Palpatine survived
There should be no ambiguity here. The man was very clearly killed, and even at that, must be close to dying of old age by now.
How the hell is he still going? Truth to be told, the success of the movie could well be decided by Palpatine. No pressure…
Give us a bit of Yoda
Do it. Even more than in The Last Jedi. Just do it.
Give Hayden Christensen a run out
The prequels are not that bad. There. We said it. They’re really not.
Sure, The Phantom Menace spent half the movie talking about bloody trade disputes, and Attack of the Clones is a bit of a shitshow, but the story that’s being told is a really interesting one.
We know that somehow, Anakin is turning to the dark side by the time it all ends, and it’s honestly not easy to tell a story when the audience already know the ending.
But they made it seem believable and interesting, and part of the reason they were able to was because Hayden Christensen is a good actor!
Get him back, as a ghost or as a vision. We want to know what Anakin thinks of this hot mess, considering he caused it…
End the story here
Let’s let this be the end of it.
We know there will be more Star Wars movies made until the end of time. There are TV shows already in the works, and because idiots like this writer will continue to see anything that has the Star Wars name attached, they will continue to make millions.
But let’s let The Rise of Skywalker end this saga, with these characters. Start again if you must, but not with the same tried and tested characters in the same tried and tested formula.
End it well, and end it for good.
Clip via Star Wars
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
