JOE brings you the run-down, the low-down and the ups and downs of the top 5 films in this week’s Irish Box Office (14/6 – 16/6) with thanks to Magnet.
Is it a bird!? Is it a plane!? No you donkey, it’s the new Superman film flying straight into the Number 1 spot.
1. Man of Steel 
How much of your lovely money they took: €985,768
Only seven years after Superman returned in, ahmm, Superman Returns, he’s returned once again in Zach Snyder’s Man of Steel.
Featuring an all-star cast including Henry Cavill as the titular hero (complete with his 90 million abs just so you feel inadequate), Russell Crowe, Kevin Costner, Amy Adams, Lauerence Fishbourne and Michael Shannon (this generation’s Gary Busey) are all on board as Superman has to try and save the Earth from the evil machinations of General Zod.
Following a number of absoultely belter trailers, the film itself doesn’t quite live up to the early hype but is still a sci-fi superhero spectacle that’s worth checking out.
The rumors are that a brand new reboot of the Superman film franchise is already in the works, just days after the release of this latest incarnation.
Nah, wise up.
2. The Hangover Part III 
How much of your lovely money they took: €1, 932,515
“The End” the tagline said. “Thank God” the audience said.
After the first Hangover film was lauded as the greatest comedy of all time by people who had only seen 2 films in their life and by other people who are blind, the 2011 sequel was rightly panned by critics and audiences alike.
Because it was pants.
The Hangover Part III sees the Wolfpack return to Las Vegas as an intervention-gone-wrong for Alan (Zach Galifianakis) sees Doug (Justin ‘cushiest gig in Hollywood’ Bartha) kidnapped by the villainous gangster Marshall (an underused John Goodman).
Marshall’s on the hunt for his nemesis Mr Chow (Ken Jeong), and it’s up to Phil (a bored looking Oscar-nominated Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed ‘the sensible one’ Helms) and Alan to track him down before it’s too late for Doug and he’s… well, we don’t really care to be honest.
There’s a bunch of unecessary cameos, a lot of it just isn’t that funny and the biggest mistake is making Mr Chow, the most annoying character from the first two films, the focal point of the third. Bad move Todd Phillips.
On the other hand, the film does open with Hanson’s MMMBop so it’s already a gazillion times better than the second, but just doesn’t quite reach the not-so-dizzy heights of the first film.
As ever though, the best is saved right until the very end so, if you do go (and you probably will), make sure you stay to watch the very funny end credits.
3. Epic 
How much of your lovely money they took: €821,642
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xu3JLXfuwQ
The latest animated adventure from Blue Sky Studios, the studio that brought you too many Ice Age films, has been repeatedly described as a Fern Gully rip-off.
Be careful though, director Chris Wedge doesn’t like comparing it to other films, a sentiment he made clear when he said “I hate to associate it with other movies. It is an adventure on the scale of Star Wars. And it does immerse the audience completely in a world like Avatar.”
Ahmm, good work on not comparing it to other films Chris.
Epic tells the story of M. K. (Amanda Seyfried), a teenage girl who finds herself in a secret forest world where she must help the local creatures save their world from evil forces led by the villainous Mandrake (Christoph Waltz – the go to Hollywood incarnation of animated evil).
A decent animated film that has enough in it to keep the little kids and the big kids suitably entertained throughout.
4. After Earth
How much of your lovely money they took: €327,685
Essentially a wilderness survival tale that’s wearing a big fancy 130 million dollar sci-fi hat, After Earth was conceived and written by Will Smith as a starring vehicle for his son Jaden, presumably because the teen asked for his very own Summer blockbuster for his birthday and Smith Senior duly obliged.
Set 1000 years in the future, mankind now lives on Nova Prime after abandoning Earth due to the fact that EVERYTHING has evolved to kill all humans.
Following a series of ridiculous events the non-close father and son team of Cypher (Will Smith) and Kitai (Jaden Smith) are inexplicably the only two survivors after their ship crash-lands on the deadly quarantined planet, Earth.
Cypher’s legs are left broken and so it is left to Kitai to journey on a 100km deadly quest to retrieve the necessary rescue beacon that will help get the pair home. Not rescue bacon as this JOE wishfully heard.
Directed by M. Night Shyamalanneboopbop, After Earth is a bland, boring lump of a thing with occasional beautiful shots but ultimately, this family pet project has crash-landed into cinemas in a bad way.
Take a knee Will Smith and think about what you have done.
Read the official JOE review here.
5. Fast & Furious 6
How much of your lovely money they took: €1,516,463
It’s hard to see how Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel), Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) and their merry band of illegal street-racing, bank-robbing, best buds can keep on getting even fastererer and furiouserer but, in their sixth film in the hugely successful Fast and Furious franchise, they’ve made a damn fine attempt at it.
Having supposedly gone straight at the end of Fast Five, it would take something pretty big and pretty important to bring all of the gang out of their self-imposed retirement. It turns out that the something pretty big is Agent Hobbs (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson) and he turns up with the something pretty important – news that Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), previously presumed dead, is actually alive, has amnesia now and has since teamed up with cool car-driving criminal mastermind, Owen Shaw (Luke Evans).
And so, old enemies Dom and Hobbs are forced join forces to take down Shaw and his cronies. While spectacularly crashing cars through aeroplanes and performing flying headbutts on unsuspecting humans who get in their way.
Read the official JOE review here.
There you have it folks. If you want to find out more about any of the movie mentioned above make sure you have the best broadband in town when you’re doing it. The lads over at Magnet should be able to help thanks to their 70mb fatpipe broadband.
Source: Irish Film Board and Rentrak. Correct as of 18th June 2013.
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