Getting close now, lads.
With each passing day, every painful hour, each stagnant minute, Winter Love Island creeps that little bit closer.
And while we don’t know exactly what the new format of the series has in store for us (though it’s probably a whole lot more of the same, tbh), we do know that we’re all going to be watching it religiously.
Because of course we are. It’s Love Island.
We also know a few things that are absolutely bound to happen in the upcoming series.
They’re a given, they’re inevitable, they’re going to go down whether you like it or not.
This is them.
1. The contestants will brag about being warm during the winter
“Aw mate, can’t believe everyone’s back home bundled up with their hot water bottles, while we’re over here just looking hot.”
Yes Barry, that’s how the seasons work in South Africa. Did your agent not brief you on this before you applied (ahem, were scouted) for the show?
The sun is out. The guns are also out. We get it.
2. Caroline Flack will, in fact, not be there
Having decided to quit the show amidst her recent assalt charge, Caroline had already lamented the fact that she would have to travel between London and Cape Town frequently had she been presenting the show.
Now though, she won’t have to. This we know.
It is not a shock to us.
3. Casa Amor will become obsolete
Amidst chatter of the savage twist being left out of last summer’s instalment of the series, people were mildly excited to see whatever Casa Amor alternative Love Island producers could come up with.
As it turns out, they just gave the girls the chance to leave the villa instead, which was apparently enough of a change to keep most people happy.
This year though, Casa Amor could be, er, Casa No More in a bid to shake up the show’s format and give viewers something a little different.
…or nothing at all will change and we’ll be treated to the same shocks, same shifts and the same show we’ve always been accustomed to.
Either or.
4. There will be a shock split/re-coupling
In 2018, it was Georgia and Josh. In 2019, it was Michael and Amber.
This time around, there will no doubt be another couple who appear to be strong only for one of their heads to be unceremoniously turned.
There will be shocks. There will be tears. There will be reaction gifs that dominate Twitter for weeks to come.
5. Someone will salmon into the pool and it won’t be funny anymore
The salmon is so 2019, guys. C’mon.
6. A couple who just met two days prior will make the final
And probably win the whole show. Why not?
It’s not uncommon for an underdog to make it to the end, and in the case of Love Island, sometimes the underdog goes all the way too.
Gotta keep ’em (the audience) on their toes, wha?
7. Everybody will complain and say the show simply isn’t as good as the summer version
After spending an entire two months watching every single episode religiously, that is.
Lads listen, we already know Winter Love Island isn’t going to be as good. We’re fully aware of this fact.
It’s impossible. It’s over-saturation. It’s too much. It’ll work but not as well as it’s expected too.
And yet, we will continue to keep coming back for more.
Shame on us.
Winter Love Island is expected to kick off on 12 January, 2020.
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