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26th Feb 2015

Siamese dreams & why toilet phone is all wrong: JOE spins the Tombola of Truth with We Cut Corners

JOE chats to We Cut Corners

Oisin Collins

“Is there no Fifth Amendment clause on this one?”

The latest group to sit in JOE’s terrifying Mastermind chair (they were really just sitting at home) and spin the Tombola of Truth was John and Conall from Irish band We Cut Corners.

Yesterday, we featured the band’s brand spanking new music video for their track ‘This Is Then’. You can check it out over here in case you missed it (it’s ruddy brilliant, in fairness).

Without further ado, lets spin the Tombola of Truth… 

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JOE: Indoor or outdoor music gigs?

John: We’d have to go for indoor music venues. We’ve played a number of outdoor venues here in Ireland and after you’ve got a decade of experience in the freezing cold you really start to appreciate indoor venues.

JOE: Who would play you in your biopic?

John: Laurel and Hardy. That’s the first duo that comes to mind, so we’ll have to go for them.

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JOE: What would be your worst habit?

John: Probably watching YouTube videos online for extended periods of time. Nothing in particular; I just like getting lost in the surreal territory of YouTube. I find when I come back from holidays I end up watching lots of plane crash investigation videos for some reason.

Conall says he had a habit of watching Conor McGregor videos recently, but it’s been his New Years resolution to cut back on them.

JOE: Have either of you ever spent a night in a jail cell?

John: No. Thankfully. And we have no intentions to either!

JOE: If you could send one person to the moon and leave them there, who would it be?

John: Wow, that’s a bit of an evil question. I guess it would have to be Joseph Roche the Irish guy who made it into the last phase of the mission to Mars.

He seems like he’d enjoy it and least then it wouldn’t feel like you were destroying someone’s life too much.

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JOE: Have either been naked in public?

John: No, not in any interesting way.

JOE: Cats or dogs?

John: It would have to be dogs for both of us. It’s a loyalty issue. So definitely dogs.

JOE: What do you read while sitting on the loo?

John: Oh… Nothing really. It’s a hygiene thing. I wouldn’t even use my smartphone for social media or anything. Just think about how many times you use your phone everyday and then what might be on it after you use it in the loo? Conall says the same. It’s a hygiene thing.

JOE: One a scale of 1 (Brosnan) to 10 (O’Shea) how Irish is your accent?

John: Both of us would be more Brosnan than O’Shea, that’s for sure. I was once asked what part of America I was from when I was in Cork.

All I could say was I’m actually from Roscommon. What else do you say to that?

The guy that asked me then said, ‘oh so you must have lost your accent along the way’. It was a bit of an awkward situation to be honest. So yeah, we’d be both Brosnans.

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JOE: Do you know the capital of Venezuela?

John: Is it Caracas? I think it’s Caracas. Yeah, we’ll have to go with Caracas.

JOE: What is the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

John: Well, I once had the exact same dream as my brother on the same night. We both dreamt that we crashed on the same stretch of road in my car.

It was really weird, even thinking back on it now it’s surreal. I’ve since traded in that car. Superstition was the main reason why I got rid of it (laughs…).

JOE: Finally… Would you rather eat poop-flavoured chocolate or chocolate flavoured poop?

John: Now that’s a tough one. Is there no Fifth Amendment clause on this one? I guess it would have to be the chocolate, regardless.

You risk getting sick if you go with the other option, so we’ll stick with eating the chocolate – but only if we have to.

LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge