Everyone has had that one manager who isn’t quite right in the head…
At some stage in your GAA career, whether it be under 14, Junior B or Senior, we’ve all played under at least one questionable character and without fail, we’ve thought they were hilarious.
The GAA manager is a peculiar beast, they change from year to year and at club level at least, have no real qualifications for the job.
Often times the manager for the next year is the disgruntled father whose ‘young lad’ didn’t get a game the year before.
Usually he doesn’t want the job but he made a drunken scene at the local after the final game last year and had no choice but to take the reins… he doesn’t want to be seen as ‘all talk’ after all.
So all types of characters take over teams, which usually makes for some great one liners; here are some of the best ones we’ve heard.
What the manager says: “Hit him hard, he’s no relation to ya.”
What it means: You’re coming off second best in your duel, stop trying to beat him with skill and just lay into him…
What the manager says: “These townies are soft, if you stick into them they’ll break like eggs!”
What it means: Primarily said by country managers who’ve only ventured into towns on rare occasions or when they’ve gotten lost, the claim is not true in the slightest but players will believe him.
What the manager says: “He was a revolution in midfield.”
What it means: A spin off of the correct phrase ‘he was a revelation’, the team were being bet up a stick in midfield before they moved this guy in; he changed the game.
What the manager says: “If you stand back, you’ll get hurted!”
What it means: Mostly said to underage teams by a manager who has aspirations of the senior job one day. They’re encouraging players to show a bit of bravery or else they will end up getting a slap of a hurley and end up “hurted”.
What the manager says: “It’s time to eat the dog or sh*te the licence.”
What it means: Your guess is as good as ours here. We think it is some variant of the phrase “sh*t or get off the potty.”
What the manager says: “Flake ’em.”
What it means: Hit your man a welt and pray the referee doesn’t see it.
What the manager says: “Stick to him like shit to a blanket.”
What it means: You’ve got the man marking job for the day, you’re the Keith Higgins to his James O’Donoghue, the Ryan McMenamin to his Colm Cooper.
You’re to follow him around the pitch and wait for him outside the dressing room door at half time.
What the manager says: “They’re only a shower of footballers.”
What it means: Said by a hurling manager when playing a team from a perceived football area.
They aren’t more skilful than your team but they were more physically dominant so the manager felt the need to rile you all up for the physical game ahead.
What the manager says: “Let him know he’s not playing county now.”
What it means: You’re playing a team who have a marquee county player in their ranks and the manager knows he will likely dominate proceedings if left unchecked.
He encourages plenty belts and scalps on him to try and stop him.
What the manager says: (about the good player on your team) “You have to help him lads, he can’t do it all himself.”
What it means: You’re playing for a one-man team, all the manager wants is for the rest of you to not be terrible while he goes out and wins the game for you.
Have we left out anything glaringly obvious? Feel free to tweet them in to us…
