Will these changes happen?
Definitely not.
But we can dream and dream we will.
So, here are our proposed changes for making sporting events that little bit more enjoyable.
Cheaper tickets
This an obvious starting point, but real fans shouldn’t be denied the chance to watch their team play because of money issues.
A tall person section
We’re sick of creaking our neck because of you feckers. It’s time for segregation.
Free match programmes
So, we’ve already spent a fortune on our tickets and now you’re asking us for more money. Ridiculous.
Headphones on the seat with commentary
More Marty would only improve things.
More toilets… way more toilets
Is there anything worse than the queue for the loos on matchday?
Ban Mexican waves
This particular writer hates Mexican waves and anything else that involves him getting up from his seat involuntarily.
Substitutions are made by an audience vote
This is clearly madcap, but can you imagine a world where Wes Hoolahan gets on every game?
We’d win the World Cup easily.
A free snack at half-time
We can dream, can’t we?
Full refund if it’s 0-0 in soccer, a rugby match without a try or a GAA game that’s one-sided
We know this would never work, but nonetheless, can you imagine how great it would be?
Actually, you know what?
Forget it.
Sport is great as it is… apart from the expensive tickets, we’ll stand-by that point.
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