Howay the lads!

On the go for nearly a decade at this stage, Cú Chulainns GAC have largely been represented by students from Sunderland and Northumbria Universities since 2007, but they have also have a core group of Irish people who have made a home for themselves in England’s North East. Though they haven’t been around for too long, they’re already quite a formidable outfit. Cú Chulainns won the All-Britain Championship in 2011 and appeared in an All-Ireland quarter-final that season and they’ve been regularly racking up impressive scores in the Yorkshire Championship and Yorkshire and Pennine leagues for years. https://twitter.com/toongael/status/694541710072942592?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw When speaking to JOE recently, club member Tomás McGleenan was keen to remember former player Eamonn Morgan, who was tragically killed in a dune buggy accident along with his girlfriend in the Middle East last year. The club have since lent their support to a trust in his name set up by his family and friends at home in Newry.

Focus on Cú Chulainns GAC

Club: Cú Chulainns GAC Newcastle upon Tyne Year established: 2007 Number of members: Pushing towards 50 at present. Biggest rivals: The bouncers at Perdu nightclub in town, they hand out some big suspensions for foul play and there’s no CCC to appeal to. Biggest representation from a club/county in Ireland: Has varied over the years. We used to have half of Mayo playing for us at one point, but they never turned up for any finals! At present there is a large Tyrone contingent and it is growing. In fairness we’ve a fairly decent spread across the whole country with Kerry and Donegal also well represented. Most famous ever member: Hard to know, but Marty Dillon likes to call himself ‘The Dillionnaire’. Rumour has it he took all of his money out of the Swatragh Credit Union in Derry and now has several accounts in Panama. Davy Healy was very well-known, mainly due to the fact he had so many house parties, to the point his house was known as 'Club Davy’s'. Since he has recently just left to go travelling, the partying has stopped and we have started winning matches again as the team enjoy their longest period of sobriety in several seasons. We decided to make Conor McGregor an honorary club member. We’re hoping he can make it to the dinner dance next year and sort the bouncers at Perdu out for us as well. Most memorable moment in the club’s history: Winning the All-Britain provincial championship in 2011 and reaching the All-Ireland quarter-final that year; not that we are living in the past and mention it to people much! Apart from that, it was a great day when Sean Twohig lost his iPhone a couple of years ago. He used to be great man for taking photos on team nights out. He had a dossier compiled on every man on the panel and could probably have blackmailed just about any one of them. A lot of men slept well that night in the knowledge his phone was gone; no iClouds back then. Also, whenever we meet Newcastle United players out in town and we look down our noses at them because we know we are the most successful sports team in the city. Most eye-catching score line in the club’s history: Four to five years ago, we were keeping teams scoreless and winning by some big margins. One year we won the first round of the championship on a scoreline of 4-22 - 0-4. This season, things have been going well so far in the league, we won our first game 6-10 - 0-01 and a while ago, we managed to win 5-14 - 1-8 after it was 1-5 - 1-4 at half-time. Player who makes the longest commute to training: Miceal Breen travels over from Carlisle, whenever his woman lets him, which is a good hour and a half each way. But we have a good few lads coming from Middlesbrough and Durham, which is a good bit down the road as well, who all deserve to be mentioned. Finbarr Feeney wanted his name mentioned; he travels from Yarm. Butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth but he reckons if he gets his name mentioned on JOE.ie he can use it to chat more birds up. He's obsessed with The Rose Of Tralee. Rumour has it he’s looking to quit the teaching to try and take Daithí’s job hosting the main event. He loves escorting young dolls, like a lamb to the slaughter as they say. Most dedicated club person: We’ve been very fortunate with the people involved over the years since David O’Sullivan, Eddie O’Gara and Ciaran McPeake formed the club nearly ten years ago. Others that have dedicated a lot of time over the years include Padraig McCloskey, Stephen McKenna, Paul Quinn, Paul McGovern and current secretary and chairman, Sean Twohig and Tomás McGleenan. Player who could have made it big if love/career/drink didn’t get in the way: Paul Quinn. If he trained as much as he has a pint and cut down on the five or six Tinder dates he goes on each week, he’d probably have Sean Cavanagh polishing his boots for him. He’s a great man for the Scór as well, I think he’s been Tyrone runner-up eight times now. Some wee girl at home keeps beating him every year and he hasn’t taken defeat well either. But in fairness, he’s a great man to get a song going on the team bus and an even better man for calling around to your house for a cup of tay and stealing all your biscuits during the week when he calls over to chat ball. Biggest character: Probably Peter Conlon, he can tell a fierce good story. When we first met him we were all convinced he was an inter-county player but he is still to make his competitive debut for us as he has been injured for pushing on seven years now. He literally is one of a kind. This boy could put Pinocchio to shame, but he has a heart of gold. We are very confident that with the help of our club physio Darren Finnegan, who commutes from Dublin to Newcastle – or at least feels that way as he is boomeranging back and forth that much – Championship 2016 is when we will unleash the beast. He’ll put Ryan McMenamin to shame for talking into boys ears during games… hopefully our subs won’t get too annoyed. Loudest in the dressing room: Basically anyone who works as a teacher within the club, they just can’t stop talking and always have to get the last word in. Dominic McGoldrick is very vocal after a few bevvies and is known to have a bit of a rant at 4am in the WhatsApp group to get the lads motivated for up and coming games. Number of romances that started in the GAA club (feel free to name names): Ciaran Flanagan and Tommy Duane are a great couple, ever since they met in DW gym the other year. They are forever complimenting the size of each other’s biceps. However, if anyone ever loves another human being as much a Patrick Feeney loves holding onto the ball, they’ll be well-liked. There is a ladies Gaelic football club in Newcastle as well, just formed this year, called Tír na nÓg Caislean Nua. It’s fair to say, to put it politely, there has been some interaction with members from each club. The ladies’ manager is currently under investigation at present on several charges, but innocent until proven guilty. Apparently they were going to call in the UN one night it was that out of hand, the team party was like that 50 Cent music video, Candy Shop. Duck to water award – Best new player who had never played GAA before: Not necessarily non-GAA but Tommy Duane from Galway never kicked a ball in his life until the end of last season. He was always a hurler but fair play to him, he has come on leaps and bounds since. As he says himself, he’s doing mighty. His best asset is breaking people and not breaking ball. Most annoying person in the club WhatsApp group: Conall McGinnity, AKA Smiler. He was that bad we kicked him out of the group and then Newcastle itself. He’s back in his club Derrynoose now about a month; rumour has it he’s been put out of their WhatsApp group already. The Tyrone lads aren’t far behind, they are always posting up rubbish about how there is an anti-Tyrone agenda, that the world owes them something and banging on about how great they are. Management are considering setting up a separate WhatsApp group for them. Paul Quinn kept a good reign on things last year but administrative powers have changed hands a lot over the last few months and all hell has broken loose within the group; nobody's even sure who is in charge at this point. Best story involving a club member that’s fit for print: Where do you want to start? Story 1: In the early years, one of the lads left the jerseys in to a laundrette but didn’t realise they were closed on the Sunday. So, having no kit, the lads went to SportsDirect. They were doing a deal on Croatia away jerseys so a set of them were purchased to do the job. We won the game. Paul McGovern, with Modric on his back, cleaned up as per usual. Story 2: Sean Twohig was passing the ladies’ university team changing room one time after pre-season training around mid-February. He happened to glance in (he swears he wasn't peeping through the key hole) to see the manager, Tomás McGleenan, giving each and every player on the team a personalised Valentine's card! Tomás swears it was a sports psychology technique to get the ladies’ heads right for the university championships coming up the following weekend. Story 3: One of the Irish girls in the town was at work on a Monday morning and her English workmate explained how she had being kissing a professional Gaelic footballer that weekend; Chris 'Christoph' O’Kane. Story 4: One of the lads, we’ll refer to him as the PRO for the purposes of this story, was lying in bed with a young lady who was giving him grief about having Tinder. Long story short, he ended up getting rid of it and when he re-downloaded the App again it synced to the club's Facebook page instead of his personal Facebook account and the results were spectacular, so much so that they featured on JOE not just once, but twice. If you're a member of a GAA club abroad and would like to be featured on the site, feel free to send a mail to conor.heneghan@joe.ie or find us on Facebook or Twitter.