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24th Feb 2016

Ireland’s political parties described as our own international footballers is absolutely superb

Paul Moore

You’ll never beat…this description.

With the General Election set to take place this Friday, we’re confident in saying that a lot of voters might currently be feeling detached and alienated from the Irish political domain.

If you’re like us then you’ll agree that football is much easier to understand than fiscal policy which is why we absolutely love Darach Kennedy’s Facebook post because he has managed to perfectly link the traits of Ireland’s political parties with members of Martin O’Neill’s squad.

After reading this, you’ll never look at Richard Keogh or John O’Shea in the same way. Take it away Darach.

Fine Gael – Glenn Whelan. Seen as dependable, if really, really boring. The occasional spark of independent thought, but generally just does what his bosses tell him. Passes sideways. And the buck. Usually only gets picked because there is no one else left. Has never delivered at the highest level.

International Friendly Match, 12/8/2009 Republic of Ireland vs Australia Ireland's Glenn Whelan and Harry Kewell of Australia Mandatory Credit ©INPHO/Lorraine O'Sullivan *** Local Caption ***

Fianna Fail – John O’Shea. Has been around forever. More often in the team than not. Part of some great days, but has also been balls deep in some of our biggest catastrophes. Always seemed better than he actually is, possibly due to the company he kept back in the boom years. Absolutely no reason he should even be considered for selection these days, but some people have short memories.

John O'Shea celebrates after the game 14/10/2014

Sinn Féin – James McClean. Not the most technically gifted. Bit of a one trick pony. But no better man to go out and kick people when needed. Won’t wear a poppy. 

James McClean and Steven Whittaker 14/11/2014

Labour – Aiden McGeady. Of Scottish origin. In and out of favour. Still gets called up every so often on the off chance he’ll go back to doing what he does best. Always underperforms. End product negligible, although will claim to be responsible for every minor victory in his vicinity.

James McCarthy and Aiden McGeady 9/10/2012

AAA/PBP – Wes Hoolahan. The people’s player. Kicks mainly with the left. On paper anyway. Makes a nuisance of himself. Doesn’t do much else a lot of the time.

UEFA European Championship 2016 Qualifying Round, Estadio do Algarve, Faro, Portugal 4/9/2015 Gibraltar vs Republic of Ireland  Ireland's Wes Hoolahan Mandatory Credit ©INPHO/Donall Farmer

Social Democrats – Robbie Brady. Relatively new on the scene. Set piece delivery promising. Lacks experience, not great defensively. Has more in him.

Robbie Brady celebrates scoring their first goal 13/11/2015

Renua – Shay Given. Part of the old guard. Left for personal reasons. Has been known to talk an awful lot of shite. Trying to get back in the fold now but in danger of missing out altogether.

Shay Given 8/10/2015

Greens – Robbie Keane. In an ideal world we’d all pick him. But do we have that luxury anymore?

UEFA European Championship 2016 Qualifying Round, Estadio do Algarve, Faro, Portugal 4/9/2015 Gibraltar vs Republic of Ireland  Ireland's Robbie Keane celebrates scoring their second goal Mandatory Credit ©INPHO/Donall Farmer

Independents – Richard Keogh. Mad as a box of frogs. Liable to do literally anything. Looks fairly bedraggled most of the time.

ZENICA, BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA - NOVEMBER 13. Richard Keogh of Ireland looks prior the EURO 2016 Qualifier Play-Off First Leg match at Bilino Polje Stadium on November 13, 2015 in Zenica, Bosnia and Herzegovina. (Photo by Srdjan Stevanovic/Getty Images)

Here’s the post in its original form, fair play to you Darach.

Darach's guide to the election, through the medium of the Ireland football team:Fine Gael – Glenn Whelan. Seen as…

Posted by Darach Kennedy on Tuesday, 23 February 2016