You’ll never beat…this description.
With the General Election set to take place this Friday, we’re confident in saying that a lot of voters might currently be feeling detached and alienated from the Irish political domain.
If you’re like us then you’ll agree that football is much easier to understand than fiscal policy which is why we absolutely love Darach Kennedy’s Facebook post because he has managed to perfectly link the traits of Ireland’s political parties with members of Martin O’Neill’s squad.
After reading this, you’ll never look at Richard Keogh or John O’Shea in the same way. Take it away Darach.
Fine Gael – Glenn Whelan. Seen as dependable, if really, really boring. The occasional spark of independent thought, but generally just does what his bosses tell him. Passes sideways. And the buck. Usually only gets picked because there is no one else left. Has never delivered at the highest level.
Fianna Fail – John O’Shea. Has been around forever. More often in the team than not. Part of some great days, but has also been balls deep in some of our biggest catastrophes. Always seemed better than he actually is, possibly due to the company he kept back in the boom years. Absolutely no reason he should even be considered for selection these days, but some people have short memories.
Sinn Féin – James McClean. Not the most technically gifted. Bit of a one trick pony. But no better man to go out and kick people when needed. Won’t wear a poppy.
Labour – Aiden McGeady. Of Scottish origin. In and out of favour. Still gets called up every so often on the off chance he’ll go back to doing what he does best. Always underperforms. End product negligible, although will claim to be responsible for every minor victory in his vicinity.
AAA/PBP – Wes Hoolahan. The people’s player. Kicks mainly with the left. On paper anyway. Makes a nuisance of himself. Doesn’t do much else a lot of the time.
Social Democrats – Robbie Brady. Relatively new on the scene. Set piece delivery promising. Lacks experience, not great defensively. Has more in him.
Renua – Shay Given. Part of the old guard. Left for personal reasons. Has been known to talk an awful lot of shite. Trying to get back in the fold now but in danger of missing out altogether.
Greens – Robbie Keane. In an ideal world we’d all pick him. But do we have that luxury anymore?
Independents – Richard Keogh. Mad as a box of frogs. Liable to do literally anything. Looks fairly bedraggled most of the time.
Here’s the post in its original form, fair play to you Darach.
Darach's guide to the election, through the medium of the Ireland football team:Fine Gael – Glenn Whelan. Seen as…
Posted by Darach Kennedy on Tuesday, 23 February 2016