The best match report from a Kilkenny Junior club football game you’ll ever read 8 years ago

The best match report from a Kilkenny Junior club football game you’ll ever read

Gaelic Football has long struggled for prominence in the shadow of hurling in Kilkenny but reporting of this quality deserves a bigger stage.

The Junior Football clash between Kilkenny clubs Tullogher Rosbercon and Muckalee on Sunday last might only have been witnessed by the paltriest of paltry attendances (2 umpires, 2 linesmen and five supporters apparently) but thanks to the wonders of the worldwide web, GAA fans around the globe can all access a vivid, thorough and incredibly amusing account of a game of Gaelic Football in a county not renowned for its association with the big ball game.

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Because the report appeared on the Facebook page of one of the clubs involved – Tullogher Rosbercon – one might think there would be bias involved, but although the reporter in question isn’t afraid to use some lyrical license every now and again, the most stinging criticisms are reserved for the Tullogher Rosbercon players and management.

How about centre back Johnny Barron who, the report says, gave away a crucial free because he “was suffering from exhaustion after a run from centre back to corner back (he never done that for the hurlers), fell over in the corner and took his man down with him.”

Or goalkeeper Mark Malone, who allowed that free go past him because “he was distracted by a Zetor and the ball ended up in the back of the net”.

The report goes onto detail how Tullogher responded to that setback thanks to “a few tactical changes” made by 10-year old Danny Glennon in the absence of manager Richie Dollard, who “picked the team and proceeded to spend the rest of the match on the phone - uninterested by the excitement on the field”.

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Having worked themselves into a difficult position, Tullogher battened down the hatches in an attempt to defend their lead and the reporter doesn’t try and sugar-coat their tactics in the last and arguably the best line of the report, saying: “Tullogher then reverted to a defensive strategy and proceeded to play down the clock by pulling Muckalee men down safe in the knowledge that there are no black cards in hurling counties.”

You can read the report in full on the Tullogher Rosbercon Facebook page here and for the sake of their own fans and GAA fans everywhere, we sincerely hope that this isn’t the last update we receive about their fortunes over the long season ahead.

Hat-tip to John Grennan for sending this one our way