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20th September 2013
12:24pm BST

Frankie/Mo
It was like a dream. My teammates supported me and I smashed it. Powerful scrums, pinpoint lineouts, huge hits and fearsome carries. Oh you wanted a couple of tries on top of that? Yeah I got that shit too. I was the man. People were all asking who was this handsome, aesthetic, new young stud in the hooker’s shirt? Now it was just a matter of waiting for the phone to ring…
I remember the moment well. It was the Sunday after Ireland had lost to New Zealand, I was chilling in my dope crib and suddenly my Nokia 3210 starts buzzing. It’s an unknown number on the phone. I took a breath, thought of all the pain I’d been through in my life and pressed the answer button.
FLA: “Hello”
EOS: “Can I speak with Jerry Flannery please? It’s really quite urgent…”
FLA: “Speaking. Who is this and how can I help you?”
EOS: “Jerry, Its Eddie O’Sullivan here. I’m the head coach of the Irish senior rugby team and I need your help right away. We’re after getting an asses beating from the Aussies and Kiwis and I’m scared Jer, real scared. We’ve got Romania rolling up next and I need to change shit up. I need a winner. What are you doing next Saturday?”
FLA: “Boss, I’m coming to Dublin to beat the piss outta some Romanians.”
EOS: “You the man Flanser.”
FLA: “Damn straight.”
Anyways, I started on the bench, probably because Eddie wanted to keep me super fresh before unleashing me as the Romanians began to tire. The plan worked a treat. I came on, got a few carries, had a few lineouts and we smashed it. See ya later Romania, Le Flan had arrived on the international test arena. Now it was time for the post match celebrations.
Eddie O'Sulivan looks on stunned at Fla's incredible debut
Normally after an international game they have a dinner with both teams in a fancy hotel, black tie, the whole works, and anyone who was winning their first cap gets presented with it.
However because this game was at the arse end of a poor autumn international series the dinner was held in the old Lansdowne Road, underneath the stand. John Hayes gave me his jersey to swap so I got to keep my first Ireland jersey too. Sound man is John.
The game was a 12.30 kick-off so the dinner was very early. Marcus Horan was sat beside me and he promised to look after me as there was a tradition at the time (it has changed a bit now) that the new cap had to have a drink with every member of the panel. That’s 21 drinks. Shit was about to get real.
On top of that you get players from the other team coming over too and with such an early start, the day was always going to be a tough one. It was all a bit hazy but I remember Shane Byrne, the starting hooker, whom Eddie used to tire the Romanians before releasing me upon the game, coming down with a vodka and coke for me and a vodka and coke for himself. Fair play to Marcus, he managed to swap the drinks around as I’m fairly sure the one destined for me was laced pretty strongly.
I admired Byrne for coming and having a go but as we shook hands and downed our drinks I looked him straight in the eye and saw as he recognized that I wasn’t the type of guy with any plans on leaving this squad for the foreseeable future. He finished his drink and walked away with his head down, he was a brave old warrior with no regards for his physical appearance, but now the torch had been passed. From here on it was my time…
My last memory was chatting to some Romanian guy in the jacks and then I ran into Geordan Murphy who handed me a whiskey or a red wine. That’s it.
"I also managed to fill my bath with sick, not a pretty sight"Next thing I remember was waking up in my house in Limerick with no idea how I got there. The lads told me afterwards that I had sang a couple of songs on the bus, told a few fantastic jokes and was generally the life and soul of the party before Marcus drove me home. I also managed to fill my bath with sick, not a pretty sight. It’s different now as I’ve seen lads get their first cap, grab a protein shake and head home. If there is a break at some stage in a camp they might have a toast but I was nearly alcohol poisoned after my debut. I don’t wish that on any of these new lads. Irish rugby has improved a lot now in the manner in which young talent is brought through. Initially when I was playing it was far more of a two-tier system and it was very hard for the lads below to break in. Now, the provinces mix it up better and they use the Rabo well to introduce players and test them. The days of resting all your international players in one go is gone. Players get good exposure at league level and if they do well they will progress to Heineken Cup and possibly international level too. It’s good to see and we have a solid base of youngsters in the squad now. Jackson, Henderson, Kilcoyne Marshall, Madigan; that’s the strength in depth you need. I’m looking forward to seeing these lads make their mark. Disclaimer - Not every conversation in this article is 100% factual and I may also have watched the movie “8 Mile” a few times before I wrote this, thus influencing my recall of actual events.
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