Zero Rucks Given: Jerry Flannery talks about his Ireland debut, and what happened afterwards

According to Fla the hardest part of making your Ireland debut is the post-match dinner...

This week we got to see Joe Schmidt name his first Irish squad and whilst he has gone with an extended squad of 42 that won’t make it any less exciting for the likes of Jack McGrath, Dave Kearney and Niall Morris as they look to close in on that special first cap. I haven’t seen a whole lot of Niall Morris but he’s obviously caught the eye of Schmidt with his performances for Leicester and the Irish development side (I don’t want to call them “The Wolfhounds” as that sounds like something an American tourist came up with). I was very impressed by McGrath and Kearney last season and they seem to have carried their good form through into the start of this season too. Jordi Murphy could probably feel justifiably disappointed at not making the cut this time but I’m pretty sure his time will come sooner rather than later. For the lads involved though this is a great chance to impress the head coach and press their claims for a place in a match day squad as the autumn internationals roll around. Sport is all about taking your chances when they come and looking at these lads now reminds me of my own first time getting called into the Irish squad, the manner in which the opportunity arose for me to get picked and my strongest memories from my first cap. Let me take you on a little stroll down memory lane to a time when everyone had jobs and every house in Ireland was worth about €12,000,000... It was 2005 and I’d been playing second fiddle to Frankie Sheahan at Munster and I was pissed off. Frankie was a wily old operator who rarely put a foot wrong and whilst I was a dynamic young buck I never felt like I gave a good account of myself when I did get a run. At times it felt like I would choke out there in front of the crowd. My friends would say to me, “Damn Fla, how you ever gonna blow up in this game if you don’t take take your shot?” I knew they were right but I was unable to get the starting shirt until my opportunity arose when Frankie sustained a serious neck injury. I ended up getting a good run in the first team with all the international players around the beginning of the 2005 Heineken Cup campaign. I was finally getting my shot at the big time. I knew people would be tuning in to watch Munster bravely mount another effort at finally capturing the Holy Grail that is the Heineken Cup after so many courageous yet ultimately failed attempts. I also knew there would be doubts over who would fill the number two shirt as the tried and tested Mo Mowlam lookalike Frankie Sheahan was out for the foreseeable future. There may have been doubts in some peoples minds as to how Munster would fare without Frankie/Mo but there was certainly none in my mind. Every night I would watch the movie “8 Mile” and stare into the mirror, freestyling to myself, like Eminem, an ambitious young white kid from the wrong side of town looking to make it big, except contrary to popular belief, I didn’t live in a caravan. Frankie/Mo It was like a dream. My teammates supported me and I smashed it. Powerful scrums, pinpoint lineouts, huge hits and fearsome carries. Oh you wanted a couple of tries on top of that? Yeah I got that shit too. I was the man. People were all asking who was this handsome, aesthetic, new young stud in the hooker’s shirt?  Now it was just a matter of waiting for the phone to ring… I remember the moment well. It was the Sunday after Ireland had lost to New Zealand, I was chilling in my dope crib and suddenly my Nokia 3210 starts buzzing. It’s an unknown number on the phone. I took a breath, thought of all the pain I’d been through in my life and pressed the answer button. FLA: “Hello” EOS: “Can I speak with Jerry Flannery please? It’s really quite urgent…” FLA: “Speaking. Who is this and how can I help you?” EOS: “Jerry, Its Eddie O’Sullivan here. I’m the head coach of the Irish senior rugby team and I need your help right away. We’re after getting an asses beating from the Aussies and Kiwis and I’m scared Jer, real scared. We’ve got Romania rolling up next and I need to change shit up. I need a winner. What are you doing next Saturday?” FLA: “Boss, I’m coming to Dublin to beat the piss outta some Romanians.” EOS: “You the man Flanser.” FLA: “Damn straight.” Anyways, I started on the bench, probably because Eddie wanted to keep me super fresh before unleashing me as the Romanians began to tire. The plan worked a treat. I came on, got a few carries, had a few lineouts and we smashed it. See ya later Romania, Le Flan had arrived on the international test arena. Now it was time for the post match celebrations. Eddie O'Sulivan looks on stunned at Fla's incredible debut Normally after an international game they have a dinner with both teams in a fancy hotel, black tie, the whole works, and anyone who was winning their first cap gets presented with it. However because this game was at the arse end of a poor autumn international series the dinner was held in the old Lansdowne Road, underneath the stand. John Hayes gave me his jersey to swap so I got to keep my first Ireland jersey too. Sound man is John. The game was a 12.30 kick-off so the dinner was very early. Marcus Horan was sat beside me and he promised to look after me as there was a tradition at the time (it has changed a bit now) that the new cap had to have a drink with every member of the panel. That’s 21 drinks. Shit was about to get real. On top of that you get players from the other team coming over too and with such an early start, the day was always going to be a tough one. It was all a bit hazy but I remember Shane Byrne, the starting hooker, whom Eddie used to tire the Romanians before releasing me upon the game, coming down with a vodka and coke for me and a vodka and coke for himself. Fair play to Marcus, he managed to swap the drinks around as I’m fairly sure the one destined for me was laced pretty strongly. I admired Byrne for coming and having a go but as we shook hands and downed our drinks I looked him straight in the eye and saw as he recognized that I wasn’t the type of guy with any plans on leaving this squad for the foreseeable future. He finished his drink and walked away with his head down, he was a brave old warrior with no regards for his physical appearance, but now the torch had been passed. From here on it was my time… My last memory was chatting to some Romanian guy in the jacks and then I ran into Geordan Murphy who handed me a whiskey or a red wine. That’s it.

"I also managed to fill my bath with sick, not a pretty sight"

Next thing I remember was waking up in my house in Limerick with no idea how I got there. The lads told me afterwards that I had sang a couple of songs on the bus, told a few fantastic jokes and was generally the life and soul of the party before Marcus drove me home. I also managed to fill my bath with sick, not a pretty sight. It’s different now as I’ve seen lads get their first cap, grab a protein shake and head home. If there is a break at some stage in a camp they might have a toast but I was nearly alcohol poisoned after my debut. I don’t wish that on any of these new lads. Irish rugby has improved a lot now in the manner in which young talent is brought through. Initially when I was playing it was far more of a two-tier system and it was very hard for the lads below to break in. Now, the provinces mix it up better and they use the Rabo well to introduce players and test them. The days of resting all your international players in one go is gone. Players get good exposure at league level and if they do well they will progress to Heineken Cup and possibly international level too. It’s good to see and we have a solid base of youngsters in the squad now. Jackson, Henderson, Kilcoyne Marshall, Madigan; that’s the strength in depth you need. I’m looking forward to seeing these lads make their mark. Disclaimer - Not every conversation in this article is 100% factual and I may also have watched the movie “8 Mile” a few times before I wrote this, thus influencing my recall of actual events.