The Front Pages
Head shops all over Ireland can expect to face charges of reckless endangerment in the near future. New medicines may become available to prolong your life to 100 years. And, Mary Coughlan is pushing colleges to accept students to courses even if they fail higher-level Leaving Cert Maths.
These are just some of today’s national headlines and, ironically, it is head shop owners who snatch their very own headline on the front page of The Irish Examiner. The story suggests that the Director of Public Prosecutions is toying with the idea of bringing reckless endangerment charges against 13 head shops. If found guilty, the owners may face up to one year in prison if the charges were heard in a district court or a possible seven years behind bars if convicted in higher courts.
On the flipside of the chemical world there is hope that a new pill may produce longevity. According to The Irish Independent a new medicine may be available in two years time which could help people live to a “ripe old age†of about 100 years. One of the world’s leading age scientists, Nir Barzilai, seems to have cracked the mystery of aging. It is not expected that the pill will be on sale in the aforementioned medicinal outlets!
The Irish Times has published passages of Minister for Education, Mary Coughlan’s, letter to college chiefs which details her belief that students who fail higher-level maths should be accepted for courses regardless. With the Leaving Cert just around the corner for thousands of Irish teenagers, the pressure can be on for some students to drop to ordinary level maths in the lead-up. The Minister suggests that an E grade in higher-level should be the equivalent of a D3 on the ordinary paper. It seems Ms Coughlan is trying to balance the books just like another busy mathematical Minister of State.
Tales from the Tabs
Gordon Brown is down, but not out.
The Daily Star tells us of the UK Prime Minister’s decision to resign but will hang on for another four months whilst negotiating a coalition deal between his Labour party and the Liberal Democrats. The hung parliament has left the British public “stunned†and this latest development has been described as “throwing a spanner in the works.â€
A slip of the tongue is all it takes to cause pandemonium and that’s just what happened Golf Channel reporter Win McMurry.
The Sun gives the low-down about Ms McMurry’s embarrassment when she mistakenly claimed that Tiger Woods had withdrawn from the Players Championship with a “bulging d**kâ€. Obviously, the TV reporter had Tiger’s sex scandal antics on the mind when she said, “Woods says he’s been playing with a bad neck for about a month – and thinks it could be a bulging d**kâ€. McMurry corrected her error immediately.
The Sports Pages
England football manager Fabio Capello has come under scrutiny following the revelation of online fantasy ratings of his players directly after matches. The Daily Mail has called it “Rank Stupidity”. The ‘Capello Index’ means Capello will rate his players for a London Stock Exchange game.
The back pages eagerly anticipate the announcement of Capello’s preliminary World Cup squad and The Daily Express reckons the Italian will name a 31-man squad before the cut to 23 on 1 June is made. Ledley King is in a race against time to make it to South Africa but Capello is happy with the Spurs defender and plans to bring the man responsible for King’s recovery with the squad to Austria for pre-World Cup training. Spurs coach Nathan Gardiner will continue to work closely with King in the lead-up to the tournament.
The Sun speculates that Manchester United will renew their interest in Real Madrid striker Karim Benzema this summer. A sum of £25 million, with Nemanja Vidic switching to the Bernabeu for £10 million, is the reported fee the Spanish giants will possibly look for.
JOE.ie
It’s Man Stuff.
