They make Dimitar Berbatov look like the Duracell Bunny, apparently.
Cardiff City are the laziest team in the Premier League.
Paddy Power have created their own special ‘decathlon of laziness,’ assessing players and clubs under categories such as ‘Strikers who have had the fewest shots per 90 minutes’ – tek a boo, Marouane Chamakh – and ‘Players who average the least amount on the pitch when given a start.’
It’s in the latter category that Cardiff really shine, taking the top two spots through Peter Odemwingie and Bo-Kyung Kim.
The Bluebirds may have taken the gold medal of laziness, but that still leaves room for silver and bronze.
Second place goes to Stoke City, who broke their previous record of four successive passes last weekend against Liverpool*, with Everton, surprisingly, in third.
Clubs who have accumulated the greatest amount of injury time so far this season
1. Newcastle: 134minutes
2. Chelsea: 132minutes
3. West Brom: 127minutes
Players who have spent the most time on the bench this season
1. Mark Hudson: 1830minutes
2. Johnny Heitinga: 1535minutes
3. Jos Hooiveld: 1437minutes
Strikers who have had the fewest shots per 90minutes (min 10 apps)
1. Marouane Chamakh: 0.6shots
2. Darren Bent: 1.09shots
3. Libor Kozak: 1.19shots
Players who average the least amount of time on pitch when given a start (min 10 apps)
1. Peter Odemwingie: 66m 36s
2. Bo-Kyung Kim: 69m 18s
3. Charlie Adam: 69m 24s
Players who have had the fewest shots per goal scored (min 3 goals)
1. Marouane Chamakh: 2.25shots
2. Lukas Podolski: 2.33shots
3. Libor Kozak: 2.75shots
Players who average the fewest number of minutes per appearance made (min 10 apps)
1. Nacho Monreal: 31m 0s
2. Gerard Deulofeu: 32m 36s
3. Steven Naismith: 35m 54s
Players who took the highest proportion of their shots from outside the box (min 10 apps)
1. Tom Huddlestone: 89.7%
2. Andros Townsend: 89.1%
3. Karim El Ahmadi: 86.4%
Clubs who averaged the fewest shots once they are winning (per 90 minutes)
1. Stoke City: 6.9 shots
2. Sunderland: 6.7 shots
3. Norwich City: 8.4 shots
Club who averaged the fewest shots when in a losing position (per 90 minutes)
1. Stoke City: 9.2 shots
2. West Ham: 10.4 shots
3. Cardiff City: 10.5 shots
Player who was fouled the most times (per 90 minutes)
1. Adnan Januzaj: 4.21 fouls
2. Giorgos Karagounis: 3.91 fouls
3. Ross Barkley: 3.16 fouls
Somewhat disappointingly for the purists, Dimitar Berbatov is nowhere to be found on any of these lists.
We demand a recount.
*Not strictly accurate.
