COMMENT: Caoilte is anyone’s brother, may he rest in peace

Caoilte could've been anyone’s brother.

Over the past few months, a good friend of mine, Shane, made contact with me regarding an incredibly distressing position he, his fiancée Cat and her family found themselves in. When he first explained the situation to me, my immediate reaction was one of empathy, but that was then quickly matched by an immense wave of frustration, anger and total bewilderment. This family were abandoned and utterly betrayed by a system that now has to be brought under serious and real scrutiny, and the least this family deserves after losing their brother, their son, their friend, is justifiable and honest answers to questions they have been asking for many months now. I could easily rehash their story and explain the background but JOE recently printed Cat's story anonymously that explains the situation in all its painful reality. Since this story was printed, many more situations have emerged that simply are heartbreaking. Because this young man was still consuming alcohol he was told he could not be admitted to psychiatric care. I made many calls to people within my close network of mental health specialists and legally they could not help him because of his drinking. In Ireland, we celebrate and promote the culture of alcohol but then use it against people when this vicious drug starts to take over their life. It really is not acceptable on any level. I received a text from Shane to say that Caoilte, the young man at the centre of the story, had gone missing. My gut immediately sensed the worst and a few days later, Shane contacted me to say Caoilte was found dead. This young man’s death could have been prevented. What really resonated with me was the sheer pain he must have felt for so long and the devastation the family have had to continuously endure without adequate support or resources. In a developed, relatively wealthy country such as ours, surely we can all see how erroneous this is? Over the next couple of months, after this family have allowed themselves to grieve and deal with this tragedy, more details will gradually emerge of their story and it will quite simply shock anyone who reads it, but it's important to comprehend something here. This could be anyone’s brother, anyone’s sister, anyone’s mother or father or child. Ask yourself if this happened to a loved one, would you like your family to be resourced, looked after and supported, or treated like this family? Don’t be naive in thinking we are all immune to situations such as this. We will all experience grief, trauma, crisis etc… and sometimes people don’t quite manage to cope and they become ill. We have some amazing people within our mental health services, we have excellent support groups and charities, but with the demand and requirement of these services they are chronically and outrageously under-resourced by our government. Someone in government has to have the balls to stand up and admit this, and stop adding insult to injury to families going through this. This can’t be a political headhunt or a pointing of fingers. We all have to come together and start joining the dots here. There is no point arguing that our mental health services are adequate and fit for purpose, especially now that our society is starting to break the stigma around emotional wellbeing. This entire story settles that debate. Yes, there are many who positively benefit from existing services but there are also many who don’t, and when it comes to our emotional and mental health, that is not okay. This family will want to make sure that no other family has to endure what they have gone through and, in respect to Caoilte’s memory, we will do whatever it takes. We must do whatever it takes to make sure changes are made to save the lives of men and women throughout Ireland in the future. Caoilte is anyone’s brother, may he rest in peace. * This article also appears on ALustForLife.com * Caoilte O Broin's image is reproduced with permission of the O Broin family