It’s the third installment of JOE and Jameson’s FOMO Emergency Response Guide and, in case you missed it, you can check out our first set of essential tips here and our second here.
And what do you mean you don’t know what FOMO means? The acronym stands for ‘Fear Of Missing Out.’
Obviously.
You see? Missing out on the definition of acronyms like FOMO is exactly the sort of craic that will pass you by if you don’t take the opportunity to head out with the lads.
We all have that one mate that secretly and perhaps reluctantly wants to come out, but still needs convincing from you and your band of merry followers.
Arguments like “it’ll be a laugh and a half” just aren’t going to cut it we’re afraid and so, to help your cause, JOE and Jameson will update our FOMO Emergency Response Guide each week, providing you and your brothers-in-arms with tips, suggestions and fail-safe methods in order to get your buddy off his bum and down to the bar.
FOMO Tip Number 5
You’ve already tried JOE’s first four fantastic tips to convince your pal to join you on a fantastic night out, but he’s still sitting at home, hemming and hawing.
The next logical step is to tell him exactly what he wants to hear. That’s right, say anything. Even if it involves lying to him.
He’s your pal, so you know him best and therefore undoubtedly have some idea about the inner workings of his mind – what he loves, what he wants, what he needs.
He wants to know if the Miami Dolphins cheerleading squad are in town night? Of course they are! You’ve even arranged to meet them all for a quickie later… and a drink.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIfbghHdG1s
He’ll be so afraid about missing out on this wonderful (fake) opportunity that he’ll be gone and out the door before you can say “ahmm, actually I was telling you a massive lie there a moment ago. Sorry.”
FOMO Tip Number 6
If the first five tips have proven unsuccessful so far, then it’s definitely getting close to the time for you to put yourself in the firing line.
You’ll have to take one for the team and a personal sacrifice is is called for – promise your friend a favour. Anything they want you to do, you’re going to have to comply.
A scary thought, we know.
You’ll owe your best bud big time in return for him joining you on a brilliant night out on the town. Consider it an IOU.
And if the Dumb and Dumber lads have taught us anything, it’s that everyone loves an IOU.
So there you have it lads, the fifth and sixth crucial FOMO emergency response suggestions for whenever your forlorn, misguided friend decides to stay in for the night.
You’re welcome.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
