“Shame is one of the earliest emotions that we learn” – Blindboy Boatclub on unnecessary emotions

"This is not a necessary thing for you to feel."

Recently JOE teamed up with LYONS Tea in supporting Pieta House to bring you #TimeToTalk. It was a hugely successful event with a whole host of wonderful speakers on the subject of mental health and wellbeing including BlindBoy Boatclub, Minister of State for Mental Health Helen McEntee, CEO of Pieta House Brian Higgins, Psychotherapist Colman Doctor and many more. On the night they addressed a whole range of topics before the topic of "shame" was brought up during a panel discussion. We've already seen how the member of the Rubberbandits deals with trolls online, and his thoughts on the emotion of shame are equally compelling.

"Shame is one of the earliest emotions that we learn, we start to learn shame at around four years of age. The thing about shame is that it’s an irrational emotion. Shame is a form of self-flagellation, when a child experiences shame, we’ll say, if they’re in a classroom and someone comes in with a nice toy and they look at themselves because they don’t have this toy. They then experience shame. "But shame is a form of self-flagellation. And it’s also a way of negatively evaluating yourself against another person. If that child is being thought emotional intelligence and simple CBT, the teacher could open up a very simple dialogue to let that little three or four year old know that what you’re feeling right now, your emotion and self worth at this moment is as a result of this other child’s toy. "This is not a necessary thing for you to feel. We’re not taught that in society, we’re taught to actually run with that emotion of shame and to feel shame over the other person’s toy. Then you get to 35-years of age and you’re crying because you don’t have a BMW."

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