Make. This. Happen.
Earlier this week, when Ireland failed to make it to the final, we talked about how Irish pop star Samantha Mumba basically volunteered as tribute for Eurovision 2018, which sounded like a fantastic idea at the time.
And we’re sorry to have to say this to you Ms Mumba, but once this even became an option, there was really no other way around it.
We need to send in The Rubberbandits.
Here’s an idea. We’ll do Eurovision, if the Irish public collaborate with us. To make the worst, tackiest song ever. So everyone is to blame
— Rubber Bandits (@Rubberbandits) May 13, 2017
While the lads are clearly (clearly?) having a laugh about it, the idea of them representing our nation at the Eurovision Song Contest fills us with the kind of excitement that can’t be easily described.
It can be about a ferret sucking ketamine off the end of a hammer. But the subtext is about Ireland paying 42% of Europe’s banking debt
— Rubber Bandits (@Rubberbandits) May 13, 2017
“Hammer Ferret” would be an international hit. We can already hear the inevitable Steve Aoki remix…
Asking us to do Eurovision, Is like when you’re shitfaced on Linden Village with your pals and think it’s good idea to go swimming.
— Rubber Bandits (@Rubberbandits) May 13, 2017
Some of the best, most creative ideas come to us when we’re not at our most lucid. Stephen King wrote Dreamcatcher when he was high on pain medication after his terrible car crash and that turned out just fine, right Stephen?
“I don’t like Dreamcatcher very much. Dreamcatcher was written after the accident. I was using a lot of Oxycontin for pain. And I couldn’t work on a computer back then because it hurt too much to sit in that position. So I wrote the whole thing longhand. And I was pretty stoned when I wrote it, because of the Oxy, and that’s another book that shows the drugs at work.”
Well, anyways, we still think The RubberBandits should do it. Not least because the after party sounds like a good ol’ time:
Then we all have a big piss up.Take over the Dail and go back to Brehon law. No more land ownership.The king is whoever owns the most pigs.
— Rubber Bandits (@Rubberbandits) May 13, 2017
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
